"People I Love"

Let me delve into the personal for a moment to tell you that I seldom have trouble sleeping. I am one of those disgusting people who closes down the minute my head touches the pillow. But I do have trouble sleeping on nights when I wake up to visit the bathroom or hear some slight noise (people -- and dogs -- in my house tend to snore). The danger at such moments is thinking. If I start thinking, I'll wake up too much to go back to sleep. This happens a lot at the prime time of four thirty in the morning. It's happened a lot more since our second child joined the Army, by the way.

At those wakeful times, one thought leads to another until I'm much too alert to settle back into sleep. I might worry about my children for a few minutes, even though I realize there's nothing I can do to change their lives -- nothing I shouldn't already have done, if you can appreciate my point. Then, maybe, my worries degenerate into wondering if the roast is big enough and if I'll remember to put it in the crockpot in the morning, or if I'll have enough time to run to the post office in the afternoon.

I've been combatting this unwanted wakefulness a lot lately, because the holiday season arrives with as many stresses and strains as it brings joys. Will both sons make it home for Christmas? (No, but one did.) Will our Army son get his package in time? (Yes.) Will third child do well on her ACT scores? (Yes, thank you, well enough.)

I've tried many methods to combat this problem. Sometimes I lie in bed and toss and turn, and sometimes I resign myself to getting up and putting the coffee pot on. The dogs are always glad to see me, no matter what time it is.

I'm tired of the sleeplessness, though, and I'm going to try something new the next time I'm staring into the darkness. I'm going to count people I love. And every time I remember a worry, old or new, I'm going to make myself think of another person who's touched my life in a happy way. Do you think it'll work? I hope so, and it's definitely worth a try.

What does this have to do with writing? I can't find a direct tie-in, but there must be one. Our personal lives inform our work, I believe, even more than we can discern. Like everyone else, I have down days, when no amount of self-boosting will buoy my spirits. On days like that, if I get one email from someone saying, "Boy, I loved your last book, and it helped me through a hard time," or simply, "What a good couple of hours I had reading your book," I'm pumped for the day or even the week. I am willing to believe that thinking of people I love will have the same effect.

Hey, it's worth a try.

Comments

[KarenB]

Oh dear - my elderly dog has been waking me up at somewhere between 3 and 5 each morning. Call me and we'll chat! And, I have enjoyed/loved/laughed with all of your books (I think I've read them all) and enthusiastically wait for the next to be published. Save this and reread it for the 4 am doldrums. -Karen