Privacy — it isn’t what it used to be

by Kris Neri

Privacy — what a quaint concept, one that has largely gone out of fashion. At the time I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, I had just gone to see the movie IRON LADY. While Margaret Thatcher’s politics aren’t mine, I did recognize that there were admirable aspects to her character, even if I disagreed with many of her choices. What struck me most strongly, though, was the divide between her private feelings and her public face.

We’ve largely lost that divide, for better or worse. Today we let everything hang out. Not that I’m necessarily promoting stiff upper lips. Still, while it’s good that people don’t have to suffer in silence now, that we can turn to others for help and advice in dark times, perhaps we’ve gone too far. Do we really have to post every personal sensation on Facebook and Twitter?

I’m not sure whether cell phones started the privacy decline, or if it would have happened without them. Working in retail as I do, I see lots of cell phone intrusions. I’m happy to report that many of our customers do issue a polite “Excuse me,” to us and other customers in the store and go outside to conduct their conversation. Sure, they’re usually shouting out there, since cell phone reception combined with the normal sounds of outdoor spaces, usually results in greater volume. But at least they’re not shouting in our bookstore. Others aren’t as polite. They answer right there, and conduct their book browsing with the help of some unknown person. 

That behavior isn’t just limited to bookstores, either. Once while I stood in line at the grocery store, the man behind me called someone and read all the tabloid covers to that person while we waited.

“Dude,” I wanted to say, “you need a life.” One that didn't involve a cell phone. But I was trying to give him his personal space, even if he didn’t seem to need it.

Recently, I experienced an odd intrusion from the extended non-privacy sphere. Let me explain. We put Google Ads on our bookstore’s website to create an additional source of revenue. It hasn’t worked that well. Since the word “books” is repeated throughout the website, it has mostly generated book-related ads. Some for all the many subsidy publishing companies mushrooming today, and others for our competitors, which are supposed to be blocked but aren’t consistently. You might say that since I invited the ads in, I’m responsible for my own challenges in this area, and that’s nothing I haven’t thought of myself.

But I hadn’t expected one bizarre aspect. The Google ads are accessed by a user name related to the store. While signed OUT of that account, but still in the same computer, I recently conducted a personal Google search among household décor suppliers. I wanted to identify the style of kitchen faucet we have, which came with the house, so I could search for a replacement part.

Bingo! Only moments later, faucet ads appeared on our bookstore’s ads. Coincidence? To test my dawning  theory, while still signed out of the account associated with the ads, I performed a few more deliberate searches, for clothes, shoes, furniture, kitchen gadgets. Sure enough, all of those products and advertisers also showed up in our ads.

It gave me an icky feeling, though. On one hand, I now have a tool to better control the ads that pop up on my bookstore’s website, even if it does seem a bit convoluted to perform seemingly unrelated searches from another account for products that don’t really interest me. But it also makes me feel weird and watched when I realize the extent to which we’re being electronically monitored.

Remember when we thought Big Brother would be the government? Turns out we were wrong.

I’m happy to share some of my thoughts and aspects of my life with others. Including this either creepy or clever technique for influencing the content of Internet ads. But I’d like to reserve other aspects for my personal use. For a while longer anyway. There was a time when we never would have thought we’d be forever shouting personal messages into unwired phones. Who knows where else we’re headed in this brave new world.

Do you lament the decline of privacy, or have you failed to notice its passing?

Comments

[lil Gluckstern]

I think that the lack of privacy is the price we pay for the convenience of the Internet. I don't like it, and I wish there were a way to keep your site just book related, but progress is not free apparently. To this 70 year old, it's still a little magical :)

[Elaine Viets]

I value privacy and miss it. At the supermarket, while I was buying potatoes, I heard a woman discussing her divorce. She said she hadn't had sex in a year. Way too much information.

[krisneri]

Lil, I suppose you're right, that the decline of privacy is the price we pay for the Internet. I just like to be aware of the limits, though. But it's pretty magical to me, too. Amazing, actually.

[krisneri]

Ewww, Elaine. That's the kind of thing I meant. I think we could use a balance between keeping everything inside even when reaching out to others would help, and believing in the illusion that cell phone calls are conducted in a bubble.

[Kate Adams]

My pet peeve is people who use their cell phones in the rest room.

At this point I think our privacy is pretty much gone, but I like to strike a blow against our Internet overlords by feeding bad info into various web site registrations and occasionally searching for things I have no interest in. It keeps Google from forming an accurate picture of who I am (as I can tell by all the ads I see that feature grumpy old guys). Aside from the privacy issue, I don't want Google to serve up only the links it thinks I want to see - I like to cast a wider net and see what's really out there.

And I refuse to use Facebook, which I regard as the work of Satan.

[krisneri]

Kate, essentially, I'm doing the same thing, albeit for the practical purpose of driving better ads to my website. It has occurred to me, as I search for things I'm either never going to buy, or at least, will never buy online, that I'm giving them erroneous marketing data, which is all they're collecting. Good for you!

[Deb Romano]

Kris, lots of businesses now post signs telling people to conduct cell phone calls outside. Before Christmas, I was in a small store that had a sign at the cash register stating that "we do not serve people on cell phones. NO exceptions". It was obvious that the owner had had enough of that sort of thing.

Elaine, I had an experience similar to yours: a man at the next gas tank over from me at a self service station one Saturday afternoon was talking on the phone while he was filling up. He asked someone "can I come over tonight? I have a bottle of wine...and...uh...a box of condoms." WAAAY too much information!

[KrisL]

The trick with Facebook is to try not to post anything you don't want your boss or your mom to read. If you do that, you're probably OK. And avoiding politics is good.

[krisneri]

I think you're right about FB, Kris. The point that always shocks me is that some people don't seem to realize when they post something on FB, it's not anonymous, it's out there for everyone to see. Who knows for how long.

[krisneri]

Deb, I've seen a number of such signs popping up, including one at the post office that asked people to step out of line to conduct their calls. I still wonder why people have to be told.

Major ewwwww on that call. How can anyone not care that other people are hearing that?