Don't get me wrong - I'm happy for the nominees and I cheer for the winners, but the actual ceremony is usually a sort of long postscript to the main event out on the red carpet as far as I'm concerned.
This year? No swans, no capes, no rogue legs. Not even anything so unspeakably ugly that you have to call it "fashion forward" if you're not to sound catty.
But there were heroes. Poor Kristen Stewart almost didn't make it at all - she had to clamber out of a dumpster to get there:
Luckily she attracted the attention of someone willing to jump in and help her out, with no regard to his own dishevelment:
Some stars were overcome.
Some stars were so relaxed they flagrantly picked their underwear out of various crevices while on the stage and then passed it off as "stepping on my dress". Yeah.
But enough of that. That's barely about frocks at all. Who was gorgeous? They all were! Some were dreamy:
Some were slick:
Some were in canary yellow with shoulder pads:
But they were all just beautiful. And more than in recent years they looked pretty too.
Here are my top three:
Octavia Spencer looked like a fairy princess in peachy tulle, with beads and net. If I had this dress I'd wear it every day:
Helena Bonham-Carter wore Vivienne Westwood as usual and was the only member of the Les Miserables cast who looked the same in costume and out. I love her because she always seems to be pleasing herself:
But Jessica Chastain was just the most effortlessly perfect vision of the evening for me, shimmering like an angel with just a hint of that other Jessica (Rabbit) who's beautiful too:
I'm adding Dean's favourite - Dame Shirl. So lovely:
And Charlaine's - Zoe Salana. And how I agree!
I cannot believe I forgot Charlize Theron's two count them two fabulous gowns. Quelle numpty. (Me not her.)