Don't get me wrong - I'm happy for the nominees and I cheer for the winners, but the actual ceremony is usually a sort of long postscript to the main event out on the red carpet as far as I'm concerned.
This year? No swans, no capes, no rogue legs. Not even anything so unspeakably ugly that you have to call it "fashion forward" if you're not to sound catty.
But there were heroes. Poor Kristen Stewart almost didn't make it at all - she had to clamber out of a dumpster to get there:
Luckily she attracted the attention of someone willing to jump in and help her out, with no regard to his own dishevelment:
Some stars were overcome.
Some stars were so relaxed they flagrantly picked their underwear out of various crevices while on the stage and then passed it off as "stepping on my dress". Yeah.
But enough of that. That's barely about frocks at all. Who was gorgeous? They all were! Some were dreamy:
Some were slick:
Some were in canary yellow with shoulder pads:
But they were all just beautiful. And more than in recent years they looked pretty too.
Here are my top three:
Octavia Spencer looked like a fairy princess in peachy tulle, with beads and net. If I had this dress I'd wear it every day:
Helena Bonham-Carter wore Vivienne Westwood as usual and was the only member of the Les Miserables cast who looked the same in costume and out. I love her because she always seems to be pleasing herself:
But Jessica Chastain was just the most effortlessly perfect vision of the evening for me, shimmering like an angel with just a hint of that other Jessica (Rabbit) who's beautiful too:
I'm adding Dean's favourite - Dame Shirl. So lovely:
And Charlaine's - Zoe Salana. And how I agree!
I cannot believe I forgot Charlize Theron's two count them two fabulous gowns. Quelle numpty. (Me not her.)
I dunno, I thought Amy Adams looked like she was trying to imitate a feather duster.... but you're right about Octavia Spencer. Very classy... as was Dame Shirley Bassey. I thought her dress was pretty cool!
Posted by: Dean James | February 25, 2013 at 07:19 AM
I really did think they were all just gorgeous last night. Well, except one. But I decided not to be nasty. Even though if I had all that money and time and a stylist and that much incentive . . .
Posted by: catriona mcpherson | February 25, 2013 at 07:30 AM
My two favorites are definitely Helena Bonham Carter and Zoe Saldana. There weren't many this year that I felt were drop-dead, but on the other hand, on the whole they were better than some past years.
Posted by: Chantelle Aimée | February 25, 2013 at 08:41 AM
My two favorites were Jennifer Aniston's and Charlize Theron's dancing dress. Jennifer Lawrence even fell gracefully, and handled the fact that she fell with such poise, I thought. I also liked Shirley Basset's, and was glad to see her pipes are still great. I also noticed the star who tugged her undies, and I thought that maybe strutting that stage so often had made her a little too blase about it.
Posted by: krisneri | February 25, 2013 at 02:42 PM
I want to be Jane Fonda when I grow up. Heck, I wouldn't mind looking like her now.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | February 25, 2013 at 03:44 PM
Charlize Theron x2 and Jennifer Lawrence's were the ones that caught my eye as the prettiest. Zoe Saldana's I loved (except for the belt) and Halle Berry's reminded me of Katherine Hepburn's look--striking, architectural.
Posted by: Dana Cameron | February 26, 2013 at 05:16 AM
I loved Michelle Obama's! Wouldn't that be fun to wear?
And I agree, Dean, the gray feathers. Puh.
I'm in love with Jennfier Lawrence. What a recovery! Truly, educational.
And oh, smiling, right..stepping on her dress.Uh-HUH.
Posted by: Hank Phillippi Ryan | February 26, 2013 at 07:43 AM
I did love Zoe Saldana's dress; the two tones of gray at the bottom, wow! I felt so sorry for Kristen Stewart, who was obviously in pain and just as obviously had not brought her stylist (she had stepped on glass that day). But I wanted to find Melissa McCarthy's stylist and slap him/her upside the head. Then I asked myself, Why do I get sucked in, year after year? But I do.
Posted by: Charlaine Harris | February 26, 2013 at 08:26 AM
Melissa McCarthy was indeed the name I didn't want to say (having taken my Seth-McFword-antidote vow not to be snarky)but you're right, Charlaine - her stylist is the one to smack!
Posted by: catriona mcpherson | February 26, 2013 at 08:36 AM
The Musical Performances at the Oscars were far better than the Grammys.
I will take Shirley Bassey and Adele over Justine Timberlake and JayZee any day.
Posted by: Cinema Dave | February 26, 2013 at 09:03 AM
Agree, Cinema Dave. I thought all the song and dance stuff was great too. Adele and Jennifer Hudson were wonderful but I did think Shirley B could learn a thing or two from Barbra S about how to deal with losing the top of your range. I was slightly on edge during Goldfinger and not at all during The Way We Were.
Posted by: catriona mcpherson | February 26, 2013 at 09:09 AM
I feel remiss. About the only fashion comment I made during the whole show was how odd that so many of the guys winning Oscars for behind the camera stuff had long manes of blond or gray hair.
Posted by: Donna Andrews | February 26, 2013 at 05:27 PM
Donna - I know! One of the youngsters I was watching with commented that "the Malfoys have really got it sewn up this year".
Posted by: catriona mcpherson | February 27, 2013 at 07:42 AM