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Contemplating my Navel: A Self-Absorbed Blog

by Kris

I'm skeptical about psychological testing. Tests seem to reduce complex beings to a spot on a grid. It's not psychology itself that I take issue with, just testing. Tests I've taken seem to capture legitimate parts of me, but only parts. And with that spotlight on my various characteristics, I question how those incompatible aspects can be found in the same person.

Recently, a friend sent me a link to right brain-left brain test. Okay, this isn't a serious scientific inquiry, only an internet time-waster. But I wasted my time and came up a whopping 71% right-brained and 29% left-brained. I expected to be identified as fairly right-brained, but that's too skewed. I don't buy it. Sure, I'm a creative, intuitive person. All writers are. Writing requires strong intuitive streaks. We have to trust that missing story sections will emerge when they're needed, and that, in time, we'll understand why we feel compelled to put in elements that seem to serve no purpose now.

But some aspects of writing are also left-brained. We must test whether a story hangs together, and polishing and proofing a manuscript are distinctly left-brained. I know I'm more balanced than that test indicated. If I were truly that right-brained, even I would question how I'd be capable of arriving at unknown destinations, which I do all the time. Although I have to admit I am incapable of reading a map.

That over-analyzing is what I do when I encounter results I can't explain. I look at one result and say, "See, that fits." Then I study another conclusion and object with "But see, that doesn't."

Completely at odds with that is another psychological system I came across. My friend, romance writer Laurie Schnebly, published Believable Characters: Creating with Enneagrams. I'd heard of enneagrams, but wasn't too familiar with them. Laurie's book has helped me to work out two characters I had been wrestling unsuccessfully with. Mostly, though, I've been using it to understand real people who perplex me, as well as applying it to myself. After some denial, I have to admit to being a #1…a perfectionist.

The thing is, I can't make that jibe with being so right-brained that it's a wonder I learned to read. It's true, though…sometimes. I can be picky, picky, picky. Maybe this is an apples and oranges thing, but to me, perfectionism doesn't equate to being strongly right-brained.

If my understanding of the enneagram system is correct, every type also has "wings," and mine are "adventurer" and "romantic," and both of which seem more right-brained-oriented. But frankly, I don't find either of those personality types compatible with perfectionism. Maybe I simply don't understand it

I'm also a writing instructor, surely a more left-brained activity. My job requires me to zero in on what's wrong with students' WIPs and finely critiquing their skill levels. While I sometimes make the same intuitive leaps with their projects as I do with my own, much of my work as a teacher demands a deliberate, logical approach.

I try to rid my classes of the pickiness I struggle with in my own life. New writers can't learn to fly if their nasty inner critics keep insisting their wings don't work. Although I tell them that their eventual manuscripts will have to be pristine in detail, I insist they shouldn't worry about perfect grammar and spelling while we're working on improving their writing and their books.

I mean it, too, and that's not especially perfectionistic. But when some take it so far that it looks like they had a duck transcribe their assignments, I want to shout, "Hey, run the spellcheck!" and that's sure a sign of my inner perfectionist emerging.

Maybe we're all just wonderfully textured individuals, with lots of mismatched compartments that make us glow with all the colors of a well-faceted diamond. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm nuts.  Surely they have a test for that.

Never give up. Never surrender.

by Toni L.P. Kelner

The title of this post is from the amazing movie Galaxy Quest, which manages to make fun of Star Trek and its fans while paying homage to Star Trek and its fans. Not an easy job, but it does it, and part of the fun was the great lines.

Which brings me, believe it or not, to short stories.

At this point, I've published seventeen mystery short stories, and I have three forthcoming. One of the forthcoming stories just sold last week, and I'm working on two more. I was on a Bouchercon panel about short mystery fiction, and this weekend I'll be at the Dying to Write conference in D.C. co-teaching a session on short stories with the incomparable Marcia Talley. So I've had short stories on the brain lately, particularly how to sell them.

And my advice is this: Never give up. Never surrender.

Despite the number of stories I've sold, and (ahem) my award nominations and wins for short stories, my stories still get rejected. The only way they ever make it into print is for me to try again.

I'm going to give you a case study of my story "Bible Belt."

Some years ago, my agent came up with a nifty idea for collection of short stories set in my fictional town of Byerly, NC, which is the setting of my Laura Fleming mysteries. Each story would take place in a different month of the year, and there would be twelve stories and a kind of connecting story arc. For the proposal, I had to write three sample stories. One of those was "Bible Belt."

Unfortunately, despite my agent's best efforts, the book didn't sell to the publisher of my Laura Fleming books. So my agent said that since no other publisher would want to publish a book in that series, I should rewrite to use a different town. I did so, though I made it the neighboring town. That strategy didn't work, either.

Not long after, I heard about an project for a religious-themed mystery anthology. Since "Bible Belt" has a religious theme, as the title suggests, I sent it along. The editor liked it, but didn't feel the crime link was strong enough. I rewrote again, this time making the crime a stronger part of the story. The editor accepted it, and sent it along with the other stories to the publisher.

Unfortunately, the editor had sent more stories than the publisher was willing to include, so some stories got dropped, and "Bible Belt" was one of those dropped.

After letting the story sit in my drawer while I moped, I eventually dusted it off one more time and sent it to Janet Hutchings at Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. A few weeks later, I was at Malice Domestic, and was introduced to Janet herself. Her first words were, "I'm so glad we're going to buy 'Bible Belt.'"

"Really?" I replied wittily, following it up with the even wittier, "Really really?"

Despite this, she still published the story, and it was nominated for both the Macavity and the Anthony awards. The saga doesn't end there. I've sold it again, this time in electronic format for the new Sony eBook. And the other two stories I wrote for the book that never happened? One sold to the MWA anthology A Hot and Sultry Night for Crime and the other went to Jeffrey Marks' anthology Magnolias and Mayhem.

I'm not saying that all short stories that you and I have sitting around are worth publishing, but I am saying that unless you give editors a chance to look at them, you'll never know. And don't stop with one editor—there are many magazines, anthologies, and other short story markets out there, waiting for you to submit.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Suicide in Switzerland

Flocks of cows and herds of birds, clumps of sheep and goats, fields of grass, tiny moveable fences, tidy piles of manure. I finally made it to Switzerland and it was far different from what I expected. We took the rural and mountain tour which is the largest portion of the country. And in October it was sunny which is a rare event, the air still so thick with moisture that our Colorado dry skin plumped up to deny the wrinkles and my contacts floated painlessly for twelve hour stretches. more interesting than most of that provided by loud speakers at sidewalk cafes. And with all the manure, one is encouraged to keep to the tidy paths and leave the rest of the park untrampled. There is thought and planing to the last detail everywhere you go. It’s almost not real, this picture postcard perfection. Vast mansions left to caretakers and grounds keepers much of the year. Chalets open only during ski season. A gondola and then cable car took us up to the best possible view of the mighty Matterhorn. And the tour bus to a switchback to see the roar of a glacier melt that had sadly all but dried up in the warmth of climate change.

Everything is literally picture perfect. Firewood stacked in even lengths and widths under roof overhangs and on country roadsides--nothing wasted and nothing out of place. In the towns and cities animals graze in the parks, low moveable fences not electrified keep the docile grass-fed animals in their place and I’m not sure what the cowbells are for but they do provide a melody

Tourism is big but a sort of background for the real business of Switzerland–banking. If you can get your treasure there, no one can get it out but you or an assigned agent or heir. Should you die without willing it to someone it stays there to grow in value and of course pay the hefty bank charges forever. The wealthy titans, the Alcaida and Mafias of the world hide their funds successfully in this neutral country, home of the International Red Cross and the Moslem Red Crescent and one the highest rates of suicide in the world. An enigma? No thinking person wants to live in a world with no neutral ground, not for the protection of obscene wealth or religions that can’t accept others as valid, but is there such a thing as too much balance, perfection, precision? I can’t handle gloom so I’m not going to move there, but maybe Switzerland needs more ditzy, disorganized people like me to stir things up. Mr. Tidy Perfection, who lives and travels with me, thinks not but what does he know?

Femmes at Bouchercon

The 2007 Bouchercon Mystery Convention in Anchorage is over now, but there were several Femmes attending:  Charlaine, Donna, Mary, Toni, and Dana.  A few of us jotted down observations at different times during the busy (and well-run and fun!) convention: 

Dana:  Having arrived in Alaska a week before B'con, my husband and I toured around, getting a feel for the South Central area of the state. The highlight was definitely a six hour cruise around the Aialik Peninsula, where we saw orcas, porpoises, seals, sea lions, and a black bear--from way off! And then we saw (and heard) a glacier calving--astonishing. Another wonderful experience was taking a flight-seeing tour with fellow Femmes Toni and Charlaine around the Knik Glacier--talk about being face to face with geology!  Fellow Femmes Donna Andrews and Mary Saums are in Anchorage, too!  After the end of Bouchercon, I'm off to the Interior and the village of Takotna.

Charlaine:  I'm about to get into my silver outfit to go to the banquet here in Anchorage.  The conference has been a great success, and very well organized. With Toni and Dana both nominated, this banquet has a high tension quotient. At least I'll be accompanied by my son Timothy, who was able to come down from Fairbanks for the weekend. He's stationed at Fort Wainwright.

The Knik glacier flight was wonderful; incredibly beautiful. From my hotel room, I can see both water and mountains, and I expect a moose to come down the street at any moment. We took a trolley ride this afternoon; not too exciting, but the driver was full of interesting stories about the big earthquake that shook part of Anchorage into the water. It came on his tenth birthday.

Toni:  This is one of the smaller Bouchercons I've attended, but excellently put together. The location--with mountains on one sides and the bay on the other--is amazing, with plenty of shops and good restaurants to choose from. Plus there are both free books and more to buy!  What more could anybody want?

The high point was Dana's winning her well-deserved Anthony Award for Best Paperback Original for ASHES AND BONES. I'll let Dana describe the physical award herself, but it is gorgeous.

Dana:  I'm back again, through the miracle of time travel, a week after my visit to the school in Takotna.  It was very beautiful there, and just turning to winter as I left; I really enjoyed getting to know the students and other writers I met. 

And Toni's right about the Anthony being  beautiful.  It is a small oil painting of Denali, made by a local artist (and I hope to have a picture of it up on my blog later today).  I'm still very shocked and very happy to have won.  One of the best things about the ceremony was that there were so many friends there to share the moment:  thank you, everyone!

Put it in Print?

by Kris

Unlike many traditionally published authors, I don't mind that more writers today are turning to self-publishing. Of course, whether I object or not makes no difference. As publication gets tighter, and the technology makes it easier, this inevitable trend will probably continue to grow. At this point, there's no putting that toothpaste back in the tube.

But I do make a distinction between books that truly are published, if only by the author herself, and those that are merely in print. As a bookseller, I see too few of the former and way too many of the latter.

Successfully producing a viable book is an enormous undertaking. You not only need to learn all about writing and do it with a flair, you also need to learn everything about book design and production, and do that with as much style, as well as everything to do with marketing and distribution. It's not just reinventing the wheel — it's reinventing all the wheels on the cart individually before you can take it for a spin.

Mostly, though, I'm struck by the misconceptions, and even delusions, held by many of the writers who contemplate taking this step. Most seem to believe, whether they admit it or not (and most of those I encounter readily admit it), that as soon as they self-print their books, a big publisher is going to offer them mega bucks to re-publish their work. Kinda sounds like Cinderella and the prince, doesn't it? But that's a fairy tale.

While self-pubbed books certainly have been picked up by traditional publishers, it's uncommonly rare, and getting more so all the time. People win lotteries, too, but virtually everyone who buys a lottery ticket loses. They often note the same success stories, as if telling the story more frequently makes it a surer path. The examples I hear most are Jack Canfield and his successful Chicken Soup franchise and James Redfield's Celestine Prophecy.

That brings me to the next major misconception I see. They think self-publication allows them to make an end run around rejection. Wrong! Sure, it does help them to avoid agent and editor rejections. But what about rejections from booksellers, libraries, bookstore event bookers, convention organizers, book wholesalers and the buying public?

What most potential self-pubs don't admit is how long and hard their heroes flogged their books, and how much rejection they encountered along the way. Publishers only pick up self-published books with enviable sales records and that route is paved with rejection.

Traditional publishers think in terms of market, determining who might buy a particular book before they go ahead with it. Self-pubs rarely give it a thought. In their happy fantasies, they simply imagine loads of people flocking to buy it. Why? No answer.

What I take particular issue with are the ones who decide they simply must be published authors, when they have clearly never read a book, or seemingly, even opened one. They don't know the first thing about book production values or publishing conventions, and that shows in what they produce.

Many don't even realize bookstores can't buy a book at full retail price if they're to sell it at retail. No kidding. I can't tell you how many come into my store to announce the publication of their new tomes and direct us to buy it on Amazon, where it's not even discounted. And they truly don't get why that won't work.

They're always so proud of being on Amazon, with all the real authors, that buttons fly all over the store. But being listed on Amazon doesn't validate someone as an author. If you bound your kid's crayon drawings, the ones you usually hang on the fridge, Amazon would cheerfully list that. With all respect to your progeny, that wouldn't make him either a great artist or an author.

Perhaps a craving for respect has something to do it, too. People do respect those who cut their own trails and come from behind to achieve success. Those who meet their challenges exceptionally well go up in our estimations. Those who do the opposite, sink. Some books find their readership no matter what obstacles spring up on their paths, whatever route their authors took. But maybe not every book is meant to be written. And they're sure not meant to see print. At least not until their writers say…look at some other books, just to see how it's done.

Pay What's Due

I've often heard mystery folks talking about how nice we all are. It's true. The mystery community is one of the most inclusive and supportive writing groups around. The theory that we've gotten all our agression out on paper must have a kernel of truth because not all groups are that way. I belong to several other writer's groups (most of which are delightful) and I have friends who are journalists, and who write in different genres. Their stories are different. I had a conversation with a particularly close friend recently about critiquing work. Her theory is that if you don't pay the person to read your work, you don't really value the service the reader is doing for you. This was a new way of looking at the critique process for me, as I'm accustomed to sharing my work with a circle of friends. We share our reading talent with one another freely -- and the thought of asking for payment, or offering it had never come up.

So now that the notion has been introduced, I wonder if I've been shortchanging all those people who have been so kind as to critique for me, or who have read my work for blurbs. (If you pay someone for a blurb, then how accurate a representation of their true opinion is it going to be? I always give the people who blurb for me a copy of the book once it comes out. That's good manners, not a bribe.)

I've come to the conclusion that the mystery community has a really special thing going. We give to each other freely -- and what we reap in return isn't something we put in anyone else's bank but our own -- and most of us pay it out again with the same sense of gratitude with which we recieved that education. If someone mentored us -- most sucessful writers learned at someone else's knee -- then we too turn around and spread what we've learned. I've critiqued manuscripts for contests, without any fees involved. I may not be a NYT best-seller (yet) but I have listened to what more experienced or more talented people have to say. They were given to me freely and I don't own them. I pass them along to others so that they too can enjoy the benefits of learning.

Does that mean that we can't hire readers who will give us a brutally honest assessment of our work? No. Sometimes asking friends to read for us can backfire. If they don't care for the work, would they stay our friends for long? A professional glimpse into our work can help us grow in ways that a friendly critique will not.

There is a place for the paid critique. But I will respectfully disagree with my friend over the Must Pay for Reading rule she operates under. There is space for both kinds of input in my world -- and I am grateful for both.

On a completely different subject, I missed Bouchercon this year -- but we have reports in from Femmes who Were There. We'll post those in the next few days. -- One huge piece of happiness that came in from Anchorage was the fact that Femme Dana Cameron was awarded the Anthony for Best Paperback Original for her work, Ashes and Bones. Woohoo!

Julie