by Hank Phillippi Ryan
It seemed like such a good idea. My husband and I were in New York, and instead of driving straight home to Boston, devoted book-promo me decided to create a drive-by book signing. We figured out eight or nine bookstores between here and there, and planned to stop by and say hello and give them advance copies of PRIME TIME.
I entered the first address in the GPS, and we were sailing.
But when we got just past New Haven, the GPS conked out. "Oh no!" I wailed. My plans were ruined. How, how, how were we going to find the next town we needed? I unplugged the gizmo, poked a few buttons, jiggled things, tried all the frantic adjustments you do when a gadget is on the fritz. (Don't ask if I looked in the instruction book. I have no idea where that even is. Or ever was.)
But alas, I had one dead GPS. As the Monty Python gang would say--it was pushing up daisies. It was an ex-gps.
Well, I sighed. We'll just have to go straight back to Boston. My husband looked at me, skeptical. He pointed to the glove compartment. "Why don't you look at the map?" he asked.
Ah. The MAP. Exactly what we would have done before we had the GPS. But I had been convenienced into submission. And had forgotten the real thing.
It happened in the office recently, too. I was so tired of emailing back and forth with someone the other day. We weren't communicating, somehow, and our exchage of ever-lengthening notes seemed to be making things worse and even more complicated. Then I thought--why don't I just CALL her?
Ah. The PHONE. It was such a revelation--I could just pick up the phone and the whole thing would be decided in two seconds. I burst out laughing, it was such a shocking thought. But five years ago? It would have my first one.
There was the time I lost my ATM card, and was waiting for a replacement. "Oh no," I wailed to my producer. "How am I going to deposit all my checks? And I need cash!"
She--who is in her mid-thirties--was equally baffled. "Problem," she agreed. "Maybe you can get money from Jonathan. Or get him to put the checks in his account."
That seemed like a reasonable idea, so I called my husband. Explained the dilemma. There was a silence on his end, then he said: "Why don't you just go into the bank? To a teller?"
Ah. The BANK. Exactly what I would have done before the whole ATM thing.
Can you add without a calculator anymore? Spell without spellcheck? Do you know anyone's phone number? They're all in your phone, right? So who needs to remember them--until you need to remember them, of course. And then...good luck.
Have we been convenienced into being incapable? Spoiled by technology? Has it happened to you?
Well, yeah. But to balance it, I scythe. No really.
;-Dani
Posted by: Dani | July 26, 2009 at 01:24 PM
Dani? You scythe WHAT? Wheat? Grass?
Oh, I know. Adverbs.
Posted by: Hank Phillippi Ryan | July 26, 2009 at 01:36 PM
I maintain an anti anti-adverb philosophy. So I scythe badly.
You're so right about phone numbers. I can't remember them anymore. Love my GPS. It is a vital tool for navigation. A map is an infuriating mind-scrambling total waste unless you're on the road and gas station has no bathroom tissue. :)
Posted by: Mary | July 26, 2009 at 04:49 PM
Well, you can't read a map while driving. (Unless you're driving in Boston, and then ou can do whatever you want while driving.) And maps don't always make sense when you compare them to reality.
I like maps, actually. They're just not great for finding places.
Posted by: Hank Phillippi Ryan | July 26, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Trust you to make convenience a verb.
Yeah, I don't remember my husband's phone number, because it's programmed into all my phones. But then, I can't remember my license plate number either.
I'm still afraid of my GPS. Will it mislead me? Will it betray me? But I agree--no way you can read a map while driving. In the dark. When it's raining. Which is usually when you need it most.
Posted by: Sheila Connolly | July 27, 2009 at 05:06 AM
We run into this occasionally when there's a power outage, Hank. Everything seems to take longer than it should to wade through the question: what did they do, back in the day, before they had X? Ah, the outdoor grill; ah, the candles and flashlight; ah, the cocktail shaker rather than the blender.
And, ooh, look! The iPod is still charged, so we can listen to a lecture together if we use the headphones with a splitter while we wait for the pizza to be delivered!
Laura Ingalls Wilder would be proud.
Posted by: Dana Cameron | August 04, 2009 at 09:54 AM