I'm so ashamed....

by Toni L.P. Kelner

This weekend I was at the Midwinter Meeting of the American Library Association, and by "meeting," I mean a honking big conference. The New England Chapter of Sisters in Crime, along with some guest Sisters from the New York Chapter, had a booth in the exhibit hall from which we gave out signed books and brochures and candy, and generally schmoozed with the librarians who wandered by. (We also handed out bloody marys, but only on Friday night.)

When I wasn't on duty, I wandered around the other exhibits. There were booths for library fixtures, computer databases, rolling carts, scanners, and of course publishers. Now like all trade shows, there were a fair number of giveaways offered: advance reader copies, tote bags, t-shirts, pens, stuffed animals, posters, and so on. In my first look around, I did pick up a couple of ARCs and a catalog or two, but I didn't reach for the other stuff. After all, they were for the librarians, and I didn't need the stuff anyway. I even brought my own tote bag.  

Then, as I was walking by a booth for databases, a marketing rep asked me to come and watch their presentation for a chance to win a $25 gift card from Barnes & Noble. I told her I was a writer, not a librarian, but she said that was fine, and I figured they needed to fill chairs. So I took a seat, and as I waited for the presentation to start, I noticed a stack of neon yellow back packs with the company logo. When the presentation began, the speaker told us there would be trivia quizzes, and that winners would get backpacks. That's when it hit.

Swag lust!

I didn't need a neon yellow backpack. I would never use a neon yellow backpack. Neither my daughters nor my husband would be caught dead with a neon yellow backpack. But I wanted that blasted thing in the worst way. When it came time to answer the quizzes using the keypad attached to my chair, you'd think I was on Jeopardy from the way I planned my strategy. When the first backpack was award elsewhere, I was philosophical. With the second, I became more intent. By the time I missed out on the fourth, I was plotting ways to disguise myself so I could come back and watch the presentation again--with my advance knowledge of the show, I'd be sure to win!

Fortunately, I had to be somewhere right after the presentation ended, and I never made it back to that corner of the show to put my nefarious plan into action. Instead I was prowling the hall, greedily eyeing t-shirts I knew I'd never wear, squeezable light bulbs I had no use for, lovely posters I knew I'd never hang.

It wasn't pretty.

The only thing that saved me is that I was tired. Had it been earlier in the day, when I was more energetic... Let's just say that I'd be wearing t-shirts advertising distance learning and encyclopedias. But weariness defeated my swag lust, and I was able to escape with my dignity more or less intact. Okay, I did grab two cute tote bags of manga characters, but they're for my daughters. Really. And I'll use that other one for groceries. Hey, at least I didn't grab any of the t-shirts!

Sigh.

Maybe there's a support group I can join before I attend the next trade show.

Comments

[Lil Gluckstern]

How fun to go to a librarians meeting. Libraries are one of my favorite places. Unfortunately, they are starting to sell reusable bags, and of course, I have to have one. It is amazing to me, but I rarely use tote bags, (except for books and yarn), but I have to have every bag I see. I would have done exactly what you did-back packs count too. Especially if they are free. I truly feel like a bag lady

[Dana]

Toni, I know what you mean... It's stuff, and it's free! It's waiting right there for you!

I'm glad the ALA was so much fun for you and SinC!

[Janet Reid]

Swag lust!
I still have shameful memories of barreling into BEA at 9am so I could be one of the first to get a really NICE totebag. Do I need (another) totebag? Well, I guess that depends on how many are enough. Right now we need an entire coatrack to hang the ones we've already got.

Ok, I guess I don't. But it's so NICE!

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Swag lust! What a great concept. And OH YES I am stricken with it. JAnet, the tote bags! It's --pitiful. But there's always one more very cool one.

And how about books? Oh, my gosh. For every treasure there's at least five that you'll never look at again. But they MIGHT be the ones that will change your life.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

And Toni, there were T-shirts? Sigh. I missed 'em.

[Marlyn]

Ahhh... swag lust. The reason I seldom go to conferences.