Killer Bears

By Elaine Viets        

 

The detective solved a "grizzly murder" -– at least that’s what the jacket flap said.

Gotta watch those killer bears. Gotta watch those jacket copy writers, too. It should have been a "grisly murder."

This grizzly sighting happened on a book by a bestselling author – Patricia Cornwell, I believe. Even the greats have to bear with these common errors.

I’ve read about people in "desperate straights," which must be somewhere south of the Strait of Gibralter. Or maybe they are unhappy heterosexuals.

And America is plagued with expatriots. What a shame they no longer love their country. Thanks to four years of Latin, I understood that expatriates had left their "patria" – that is, their native country. They could still love it.

 Excitement has "peeked" during sports events. I imagine it would if a  mountain suddenly appeared in the middle of a cheering stadium. At the very least, curiosity would be "peaked." Er, piqued.

I’ve waded through accounts of people who "wet their appetites" – which sounds rather nasty. Actors have been real "troopers" – even when they play sweet maiden aunts, not burly state troopers.

Opportunities to misspell (or is that miss spell?) lurk everywhere. When I write my Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper books, I have to keep asking: Is Miss Apple the principle or principal of Amelia Marcus’s school?

Fortunately, my teachers gave me a little saying to answer that question: "A school principal is the prince of pals." Not necessarily true if you knew my high school principal, but the sentence helps me.

My teachers also helped clarify the dreaded "it’s" and "its" that confound so many. Sister Grace Edmund taught us to mentally change "it’s" to "it is" when we read the sentence. If it’s correct – if "it is" correct – we can apply that apostrophe. Otherwise, "its" is a possessive pronoun that will not possess an apostrophe. Sister was a gentle nun who would never hit students with a ruler. Instead, she hit that apostrophe on her blackboard with a wooden, rubber-tipped pointer until she beat it into our heads.

Alas, nothing could be done to help me spell "separate." I still get it wrong.

The wily "recommend" looks right with two C’s as well as two M’s.

Despite my teachers’ best efforts, I’ve made some very public spelling mistakes. Newspaper readers rightly laughed at me when I said a man wore German liederhosen. "Really?" a reader asked. "His pants were singing? That is newsworthy." He politely told me the German gent wore lederhosen.

I had a cyclist peddling all over town – selling from a bike, no doubt. I’ve also had one ride a stationery bike. A paper bike is lightweight, but not as fast as a paper airplane.

Spellcheck adds its own perils. It once changed my businessman’s Dunhill briefcase to Dunghill. That name lacks snob appeal, even if you’re at the top of the heap.

I’ve tried to defend the language, as well as offend it. A copyeditor – a very good one who obviously didn’t spend time contemplating whiskey bottles – tried to change Jack Daniel’s to Jack Daniels in one of my mysteries.

The correct name of that liquor is Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey – as in, belonging to Mr. Jack Daniel.

I fought for that apostrophe like a mother grizzly.

 

Comments

[Karen in Ohio]

Elaine, a nun taught me that "separate" has a rat in it. That always helps me remember; hope it helps you, as well.

One of my pet peeves is the use of "lead" when it should be "led". Another is "between you and I". My English teacher also said to take out the "you", and if it made no sense to use "I" with it, use "me", instead.

[Karen in St. Louis]

Ah, yes, we all have our spelling challanges. Then there are those pesky subtle nuance differences in words. I'm our office's living dictionary. "How do you spell corroborate? Which is more appropriate - ensure or insure, affect or effect?" And one of my pet peeves is when someone says, "supposably." WHAT? And that other linguistic abomination: he "pled" not guilty. Keep up the good fight, Elaine. Watch out for those cinnamons. Er, I mean synonyms.

[leslie]

Spelling the true sign of learning. I have great feelings of concern for the texting generation and their ability to spell. And spell check has made more than one embarrassing moment. I have actually stopped reading a book due to the number of mistakes that were allowed to slip past. Great Bog. I still hide the shame of my spelling gymnastics. I should have received a perfect 10 for the way I made words flip around.

[Dana]

My husband intentionally misspells things on the grocery list because he knows it will drive me crazy. To get back at him, I correct the spelling, but say nothing.

Fun post, Elaine!

[Elaine Viets]

Karen O, I am now looking for that rat in separate. Forgot about "between you and I." That makes me grit my teeth.
Karen StL -- I was told "an affect has an effect." Didn't work.
Dana,ain't love grand?

[Karen in Ohio]

Elaine, you should look for "a rat".

Don't jump on the chair when you find it, you'll confuse the kitties.

[Elaine Viets]

A rat is is. The cats will be on the chair with me, unless that rat comes in a can.

[kerry]

I am so glad that someone else looks for grammar "nuances". My husband can not spell and I drive him crazy when I correct everything.

[Elaine Viets]

I used to proofread medical books, Kerry. I can find other people's mistakes easier than my own.

[krisneri]

While I've certainly made my share of mistakes, too, I still feel like I've become the grammar and punctuation police. Some of the emails I receive make me crazy, including some from published writers, who don't use a comma before a name in direct address, and those that don't use any punctuation, but allow one sentence to roll into the next. I want to whip out a red pen, correct them and send them back.

Dana, my husband uses creative spelling on the shopping list, too, but I've embraced items like "cat fud."

[kanji tattoos]

I have to admit I was giggling all the way through this one Elaine! We all have a need for our little red pencils in this world!

[storyteller Mary]

Hurrah, Elaine! Your books are well written and for that I thank you.
Does anyone else practice stealth editing? My sister has watched out for witnesses for me, as I pulled out my pen and corrected errant apostrophe use on store signs.

[Elaine Viets]

I've seen stealth editing in library books, Mary. When I was a medical book proofreader (that's how I worked my way through college) one colleague was unable to let spelling errors pass. Betty would carefully mark them on library books.

[Sara Berger]

I really hate finding someone's corrections in library books. They are public, not private property and should not be defaced.

[Elaine Viets]

You are right, Sara. They bother, me, too. But for true proofreaders, correcting typos is a compulsion. They cannot help themselves.