Help, Femmes! What to Wear?

  by Hank Phillippi Ryan

So I had to come to the source. Who better than the Femmes Fatales (and friends) to help me with my Femmes Fatales outfit?

 You know CrimeBake, of course, the fabulous wingding (shindig?) thrown by MWA and Sisters in Crime just outside of Boston. The event is always around Veterans Day. And that’s soon.

 I’m fine on the panels, they’re all good and interesting. And I’m fine on doing manuscript critiques, I always enjoy that.

 The problem—the challenge!—is the banquet.

 In recent years the CrimeBake moguls have organized a fabulous Saturday night party where people dress up in costume. There’s a theme. One year it was—your favorite mystery character. (Jonathan and I were Harriet Vane and Lord Peter Wimsey. Jonathan was very elegant, and I got to wear fur and a cloche. (Hey, it was fake.)

 Another year, when our own Charlaine Harris was guest of honor, it was…paranormal costumes. We were all vampires.  Eyeliner. And fake blood. And fangs, lots and lots of fangs.

 But this year, with financial thriller bestseller Joe Finder as Guest of Honor, the theme is Femmes Fatales and Lady Killers. So I have to think of a Femme Fatale.  I mean, one who I can dress up as, with the usual caveat that it has to be from something I already have at home since no way I have time to go shop for anything. I’ve got to go with what I’ve got.

 This is where you come in, femmes and friends of femmes. Who’s a good femme fatale?

I figure everyone is going to be Mata Hari, that’s the first FF we think of. I could get some tights, and a leotard, and a bunch of scarves. Right?

People might think I was Salome, of course, but that wouldn’t be bad either. I could have a platter with a head . Ooh. Possible.

 I’m a storyteller, so I could be Scheherazade. (Although first I’d have to figure out how to spell it.)  Strangely, though, this costume also seems to call for tights and lot of scarves and eyeliner.

Theda Bara.  Scarves. And eyeliner.

Cleopatra. Scarves and eyeliner. And a snake. Could work.

Wait—I’m missing the obvious. Bridgid O’Shaugnessy, in The Maltese Falcon. Hmm. She’s platform shoes and a little curvy suit, right?  I could carry a Falcon. Okay. Possibility.

I’d love to be Gilda. I have a strapless dress..and long white gloves. And sing Put the Blame on Mame. But I don’t have the right Rita Hayworth hair.

Marlene Dietrich, somehow? With a tuxedo, and a cigarette?  Hmm.

Kathleen Turner, in Body Heat? (Funny how the “tights and scarf” motif vanishes as time goes by.)

As time goes by?  Oh! Ilse! I could get a slouchy hat and a trench coat. And practice my liquid eyes and Hungarian accent.  Possible.

Nicole Kidman, in To Die For—remember she did the weather? Pink lipstick and a boucle suit (lipstick, check, Boucle suit, no). And hey, sisters, I loved Sharon Stone. I loved her in Basic Instinct, but now you’ve gone too far. As she did.

There’s Monica Lewinsky. But she’s a FF wanna-be. And she’s not funny, anyway. But it’s an easy- peasy costume, with a beret and a blue dress. (And um, a cigar...)

Wallis Simpson? That would work. Hey—I could just wear my last year’s Harriet Vane outfit, except a tiara instead of a cloche!

 Hey. Waitaminit. Catwoman. Or—Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

 GOT to find a costume. Any ideas?

 

 

 

Comments

[Elaine Viets]

Definitely Catwoman. You can wear black, cat ears and cute whiskers, Hank.

[Marcia Talley]

I vote for Kathleen Turner in Body Heat, my favorite mystery movie of all time. {fanning myself}

[Charlaine Harris]

Morticia of the Addams Family is a true Femme Fatale.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Morticia! Brilliant.ALl about the wig..and a slinky black dress...

KAthleen Turner can just be a white shirt., kinda unbuttoned, and pencil skirt, right?

Catwoman-- wouldn't it be funny to like, get it wrong? And just bring in a bunch of cats?

[Keith Raffel]

Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity. That poor sucker Fred MacMurray never had a chance.

[Storyteller Mary]

Hmm, you do have a head start on the Femme Fatale theme . . . Scheherazade (many possible spellings) is one of my favorites also, though she's more of an anti-fatale . . .
You could be The Other Woman with a red coat . . . but you are probably too modest for that.
Wiki has many, including Jessica Rabbit,
and reminded me obliquely, with reference to asymmetrical love affairs, of Gatsby's Daisy . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale
I know you'll look stunning -- photos perhaps?

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Oh, Mary, so funny, it never crossed my mind to wear a red coat! Would that be funny? Or--pushy?

Oh, Daisy Buchanan...hmmm....

thank you! xxo

Keith..It would be great fun to be Barbara Stanwyck..Ill have to get out the shoulder pads. And stockings with seams.

xoxo