By Elaine Viets
Technology has changed mystery writing. Now I can e-mail my novels to my editor, instead of figuring out which FedEx box has the latest pickup.
When I finished "Board Stiff," my May Dead-End Job mystery, a touch of the SEND button shot it straight to New York. The main work was over. Now the worrying started.
I was confident I’d thoroughly researched this novel about crooked beach towns and cutthroat Florida tourism. I’d even taken stand-up paddle boarding lessons to learn about that new water sport.
It took a day for my confidence to erode like a hurricane-hit beach. Doubts stung like sand flies. Did I really check out everything?
What about that scene where a French woman flipped off a lifeguard who told her she couldn’t go topless on the beach? The French don’t have Americans’ puritanical attitude about nudity, but do they really give the finger when they’re angry?
How would I know? Yes, I saw this scene on the beach. The topless woman sure sounded like she was cussing in French. But Florida gets tourists from around the world, and I’d never been to France. Maybe I should check. A sleepless night convinced me I had to.
I asked my friend, Kristy Montee, who’s half of the award-winning mystery team, P.J. Parrish. Kris lives in France for a month every year. The French editions of her novels get good reviews there.
"You're my expert on the French," I wrote her. "Do they flip people off when they're angry? I have a French woman in my book who does this and I want to make sure it's an international gesture."
Kris wrote back, "I don't think they do the middle finger thing. They have this gesture called bras d'honneur. In exact French it would be fait un bras d'honneur (give the arm of honor) where they raise a fist and sort of slap their arm. I know MEN do it, but not sure about women. But why not???"
Okay. It could work. But Kris still wasn’t satisfied with that answer. "Tried to find a video of it for you," she wrote. "Try this one. It comes at the very end. Don't know what the guy is pissed about!
Kris kept digging. "I found you some proof," she wrote. "This woman gives the bras d'honneur to a priest! It's from a French TV series. It comes at the end if you want to fast forward."
The YouTube account had been discontinued, but I believed her.
Next Kris checked with her French translator who worked on "The Little Death." In French the title is "Such a Little Death."
"Well, tell your friend that our ‘honneur’ cultures are quite similar," the translator wrote. "In France we can deliver a doigt (finger) or some bras (both d'honneur). The doigt is a little less vulgar than the bra which, you're perfectly right, are more ‘masculine.’ So, I guess that this French woman could deliver un doigt d'honneur which is perfectly French.
"Now, if she's very angry and very sophisticated, it could be funny to have her give le bras d'honneur which is probably more specifically French than le doigt.
"Now, Kris, life is really full of surprises. The first time I translated your work, if someone told me that we'd have such a conversation some day I don't think I would have believed him. Have a great year with lots of books for me to translate."
Well, that settled it, I thought. My topless French woman was an unsophisticated, ticked off tourist.
Then another worry popped up. What if she wasn’t from France? We have lots of French Canadian tourists here in Florida. Did they use the finger?
I spent two sleepless nights worrying about French Canadians’ rude gestures.
Finally, I let the scene go. I was too tired to give a flip.
Hilarious! It's always the little things. On the topic of rude hand gestures, a backwards peace sign (palm turned towards signer) is as rude in the UK as the middle finger. But here it's just means "two". Or - as when a waiter does it to you as soon as you walk into a restaurant - "two?" It took some getting used to!
Posted by: catriona mcpherson | March 06, 2013 at 08:46 AM
LOL, Catriona. And you know, if we get it wrong, we will get letters.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 09:12 AM
Elaine, you are amazing and funny.
In my youth, which I am deign to say is eons ago, my friend came back from the French Riviera and told me that she wore a bikini. My estimation of her dropped..I was a dope at the time. My French Canadian cohorts used a lot of swear words invoking dieties.
I revert to the song from GIGI that says "I don't understand the Parisians" and they frown on the French Candaian dialects..LOL
Posted by: marie | March 06, 2013 at 09:22 AM
Marie, when I worked at a midwestern pool in the late 60s, a French woman wore a bikini. She was asked to leave, it was so shocking. By today's standards, her suit was modest.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 09:29 AM
I love your attention to detail . . . and I love that you also lose sleep when bothered . . .
Well, not that you lost sleep, just that someone else does it, too, as I did last night . . . hence the run-on sentence.
Off to aqua aerobics, where I will do my best to teach, and then back home for a nap.
Looking forward to the next book.
Posted by: Storyteller Mary | March 06, 2013 at 09:33 AM
Hope "Board Stiff" is good enough to keep you awake while you read it, Mary.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 09:39 AM
It is getting the details right that makes your books so much fun to read.
One well known author popped the bad guys into the back seat of a BMW M1 for a car chase. http://jalopnik.com/go-for-a-test-drive-in-the-enthralling-bmw-m1-376539750 Do you see a back seat?
Posted by: Alan Portman | March 06, 2013 at 09:41 AM
Don always gets annoyed at writers who give Heineken a twist-off cap, Alan.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 09:44 AM
Bikinis
My mother worked for the USO in the late '40's, early 50's in France. She brought bikinis home for her nieces who were about 4 then. She thought they looked very cute. My aunt, there mother did too. The life guards on the beach on Lake Erie, thought they should go home.
Posted by: Alan Portman | March 06, 2013 at 09:45 AM
Why do people get lonesome for the 50s, Alan?
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 09:47 AM
Glad I could help Elaine!
Here's another Frenchism that comes in handy:
Face your palm downward and make a hitting motion toward your shoulder. It means "I don't give a damn!"
"J'm,en fous!"
Posted by: PJ Parrish | March 06, 2013 at 10:48 AM
I like that one, Kris. This blog is giving everyone an international education.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 11:12 AM
Thank you -- I started looking around the web and found http://tinyurl.com/6cuhy ; complete with photos. I'm now more educated than I was this morning... :)
Posted by: Carolyn | March 06, 2013 at 02:01 PM
Carolyn, those gestures are fun to see -- thanks!
Elaine, never fear, your books have the power to keep me awake and turning pages, usually long past my normal bedtime.
Your radio programs are great fun, too, and one should be on in
about 15 minutes . . .
Posted by: Storyteller Mary | March 06, 2013 at 02:45 PM
The ancient Romans called it "digitus impudicus"- the impudent finger!
Posted by: William | March 06, 2013 at 04:25 PM
I love it, Carolyn. I salute you. Politely, of course.
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 07:12 PM
Four years of Latin, William, and I never learned anything that useful. It was always those dratted Romans and their booty, and they weren't shaking, they taking it. "All of Gaul is divided into three parts. . ."
Hey, that's France, isn't it?
Posted by: Elaine Viets | March 06, 2013 at 07:15 PM