My Weblog: Twenty-Six Years Worth of Laughs

by Toni L.P. Kelner

Today is Steve's and my twenty-sixth anniversary, and I've found that this is the Original Pictures anniversary. That seems pretty darned appropriate, because after all these years, my memories of my wedding day are kind of divided up into special moments--mental pictures, as it were--and some of 'em are pretty original. You see, while no wedding goes off perfectly, I think we had more than our share of glitches,

First off, I was nearly late for the wedding. No, I didn't have cold feet. The guys doing my hair and makeup ran late. Then, when I got back to my parents' house and was ready to zoom off to the church when my mother announced that (1) we had to go pick up one of my bridesmaids--my sister Robin--and (2) we had to stop for gas. And did she stop at a full-service place? No, she went self-service, and I refused categorically to pump gas on my wedding day, with my nails, hair, and makeup all done. Another bridesmaid--my sister Brenda--did the honors. It's a shame the photographer wasn't with us then.

We got to the church and got dressed as quickly as we could. Once we were ready, my nervous mother pulled out a cigarette to smoke during the short walk to the front of the church. Only Father McSweeney, the priest who was there to marry us, said, "You can't smoke in here." He grabbed the cigarette out of her hand, walked outside the door, and lit it himself to smoke. Again, the photographer missed an opportunity.

We get to the church and and my father escorts me down the aisle. Now the night before, during the rehearsal, that aisle had seemed endless, so as I walked I took time to nod and smile at friends and family. Meanwhile, poor Steve is up at the front of the church trying in vain to catch my eye so he can give me that "I'm so happy to be marrying you" look. Instead, by the time I stopped working the crowd, I got a "HELLO! I'm up here!" look.

But there was plenty of sentimentality when Daddy handed me off to Steve, and lovingly said, "She's all yours, sport." Well, for Daddy that's sentimental.

During the service itself, we got another special moment when I tried to put Steve's ring on and it wouldn't go. Because it wasn't his ring. It was mine. Father McSweeney mixed them up somehow. So he leaned down and very quietly said, "When we turn around, switch rings!" I thought we were the only ones to notice until I heard snickers from the bridesmaids.

After that things went smoothly. Mostly. Well...

Brenda went back to the dressing area and couldn't find the shorts she'd worn to the church, and didn't locate them until the middle of the reception when she put her hands on her hips and noticed she was still wearing them under her bridesmaid gown. (That's one picture the photographer did manage to catch.)

Speaking of bridesmaid's gowns, they were made by different seamstresses, and two of them wouldn't stay buttoned so bridesmaids Robin and Liz had to be sewn into their dresses. And speaking of photos, my sister/bridesmaid Connie came out of a door during the reception to hear the photographer say, "Squeeze in!" She obeyed, and was included in a family picture. That would have been fine, except it was Steve's side of the family,which didn't include Connie.

Plus I forgot to bring my luggage with me to the wedding, so after the reception, I drove off with my father to grab it. I was still in my wedding gown, and Daddy was in his tux, and the car had the "Just Married" stuff. So people would honk and wave, then see the two of us and I know they were thinking, "Jeez! He's old enough to be that woman's father!"

So yeah, not a perfect wedding. Instead we started our marriage with a whole lot of laughs, which set the stage for our marriage. Laughter has added to our good times, and always helps us through the bad times.

And just to prove that we did have one picture-perfect moment, here's my favorite wedding picture.