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August 06, 2014


Karen in Ohio

Sure, sure. But then we'd forget which number was which, and end up fighting about that.

Love you, Elaine!

Elaine Viets

You could keep a list, Karen. Ask one of the crafty family members needlepoint it. Or put a small list at each place, using your best penmanship.

Karen in Ohio

Needlepoint! Snort.

Elaine Viets


Marcia Talley

Number fifteen, Elaine! Need I say more? ;-)

Marcia Talley

Or like Mme Defarge in Tale of Two Cities -- knit the names of the victims of the guillotine into the scarf you're working on!

Elaine Viets

And then strangle them with it, Marcia?
Don't get me started on Number fifteen.

Alan Portman

And see, I thought Don was kept in line by the knowledge that you have been "killing people" for more than ten years and he could end up fish food if he went too far.

Elaine Viets

No, Don is the safest man in south Florida, Alan. The spouse is always the number one suspect in a murder investigation.

Catriona McPherson

Ha-ha! We have "Remark A" as a code for "Where's the retractable tape measure?" For some reason, that's the thing that gets lost most.

Our most long-running disagreement is about cumulative probability. I don't believe in it even though I know I'm wrong. Neil's been trying to find a way to make it intuitive for fifteen years.

Elaine Viets

My grandfather used to say, "So, do you think the rain will ruin the rhubarb?" when he wanted to change the subject, Catriona.
Our tape measure is in the hall closet. Just don't ask me where the pliers are.


(Old Joke Alert!)

It is Fred's first day in prison. After spending the morning being processed, he is taken to the huge mess hall for lunch. He finds a seat at a table full of inmates who look like they have been behind bars for years.

Suddenly, an inmate stands in the middle of the room and yells, "41!" As he sits down, the room erupts in laughter. Then another prisoner stands and yells, "123!" Again, there is laughter throughout the room.

Puzzled, Fred asks the inmate sitting next to him what's going on. "Well," the older inmate says, "Most of us have been here so long that we have heard all the jokes. So we just number them and use the number." Fred says, "I love to tell jokes! Give me one." "Okay," says the older inmate. "Everybody loves old 72. It always gets a big laugh"

Fred stands up, waits for the laughter to die down from the last joke, and yells, "72!" There is nothing but silence as hundreds of inmates just turn and stare at him. Fred sits down and looks at the inmate who gave him the number.

"What happened?" he asks. The older man shrugs and says, "Some people just can't tell a joke."

Elaine Viets

Good one, Carolyn.

Storyteller Mary

I love the efficiency of your numbered list . . . and have been accused of knitting code into my works. ;-)
A friend told me that her mother always answers any vicious gossip about anyone with, "I hear he/she is good to his/her mother." I used that line in "The NCLB Murder," my safer alternative to real murder . . .

Elaine Viets

"A friend told me that her mother always answers any vicious gossip about anyone with, 'I hear he/she is good to his/her mother.' "
Perfect. Kudos to you and your friend's mom, Mary.

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