Shameless

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I enjoyed Diane Vallere's new cozy mystery, SUEDE TO REST. I'm delighted Diane agreed to guest for the Femmes today. Better yet,  she's giving away a copy of SUEDE TO REST to one commenter. Leave a comment and you may win an e-book or a paperback, winner's choice. --Elaine Viets

By Diane Vallere

In a recent interview promoting the upcoming movie Fifty Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson said that she didn’t have trouble with the subject matter of the movie because she had no shame. I’ve certainly heard this claimed by people in the past, both famous and non-famous, but whether it’s because the movie’s promotions make it difficult to ignore or because I needed a subject for this blog post, I really started thinking about what it would mean to have no shame.

Me? I’m ashamed of lots of things. I’m ashamed that I have entire days with which to write and sometimes only manage a few hundred words. I’m ashamed when I finish more than half of a pizza by myself. I’m ashamed that I call myself a full time writer but have had to dip into my savings to make ends meet, and I’m ashamed that I’ve just admitted all of these things to you.
Shame is a built-in mechanism that guides most of us and keeps us in check. Sometimes we do things we know we shouldn’t do and are only ashamed when people find out. Shame can make us feel isolated and embarrassed by our actions, shunned by others and, ultimately, very much alone. Even so, I’m pretty sure none of us wants to live in a shameless society.

As readers and writers of mystery fiction, we want our characters to be human. To have emotions. To know right from wrong, to show loyalty, to believe that good will triumph over evil and to be willing to lay it all on the line to make it so. But we don’t want them to be perfect. Because if you hold up a mirror to the majority of us, we’re not perfect and we know it!
Shame—or rather, the lack thereof—is one of the main characteristics of sociopathic behavior. Sociopaths feel no remorse for their actions, which allows them to exist on a level most of us can’t understand. Exhibits of empathy, guilt, shame, or remorse are faked, acts learned because the rest of the world expects to see those emotions in certain unsavory situations.
For the purposes of this blog post, I’ll assume that Ms. Johnson was simply making a provocative statement intended to help move box office tickets and not confessing to something darker.
 And as for me? I’m okay owning my shame. It keeps me from finishing the whole pizza.
--
About Diane Vallere:
After two decades working for a top luxury retailer, Diane Vallere traded fashion accessories for accessories to murder. SUEDE TO REST, the first book in the Material Witness Cozy Mystery Series, has been nominated for the 2015 Lefty Best Humorous Mystery Award. Diane also writes the Mad for Mod Mystery Series, featuring a midcentury modern interior decorator who has modeled her life after Doris Day movies, and the Style & Error Mystery Series, featuring a former fashion buyer. Diane started her own detective agency at age ten and has maintained a passion for shoes, clues, and clothes ever since.

Comments

[Karen in Ohio]

Frankly, I think more people need to feel shame these days. Does that make me a fuddy duddy?

Diane, any book with a sewing machine on the cover appeals to me. Look forward to reading SUEDE TO REST!

[Diane Vallere]

Karen, if that makes you a fuddy duddy, then I'm right there with you.

Good luck!

[Elaine Viets]

Let's hear it for shame, particularly if it keeps us from making the same mistakes.
When do we get to read the next book in your series, Diane?

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

She has no shame? I guess that's pretty clear...and she'll be shameless all the way to the bank, too.

What an interesting thing to think about, huh?

And let me just say--I love your books. And "a material witness mystery" is one of hte best brands ever. xoxoo

[Cheryl in STL]

Shame is the built in guardrail that keeps us from doing the really dumb stuff.

[Catherine]

I’m okay owning my shame. It keeps me from finishing the whole pizza... in one sitting. Looking forward to reading this new series.

[Betty Louise]

Certainly feeling bad about action is good.

[Sally Schmidt]

I'm proud to be a fuddy duddy. And those books and now a movie, haven't read and won't see, but just - ugh.

Diane, your books are so funny. YOU are so funny!

[Rita Quante]

Will never think of 'shameless' in the same way again; I, personally, carry it around with me! I am so looking forward to reading the new book, and start to a new series. Will have to catch up on the current books you have out as well!

[Cathy M]

Such a thought provoking topic - shame or the lack thereof. I guess shame can be relative to the moral code you're taught. I think for me shame is applicable in relation to actions that hurt others and not so much doing dumb things to oneself.

I just recommended your book for purchase by the local library. Hope this spreads the word.

[Diane Vallere]

Diane here...

Thank you for the comments! And thank you to Elaine for inviting me here today! Apologies for the big reply blast here. I just got home from an early flight so I'm a bit behind in checking in.

Elaine, CRUSHED VELVET, the second Material Witness Mystery, is out August 4.

Hank, "shameless all the way to the bank" = absolutely. It will be interesting to watch her career from here. (and yes, I love "Material Witness" too!)

Cheryl, I love that shame/guardrail metaphor! Genius. The next time I'm ashamed of something I'm going to think about that.

Catherine, I guess you and I should never try to split a pizza since we both like more than our share :)

Betty Louise, I completely agree.

Sally, Thank you!! I think we should launch a secret fuddy duddy society.

Rita, On carrying the shame, you and me both!

Cathy, Thank you for the library recommendation! I appreciate it!

[Dana Cameron]

Thanks for stopping by the Femmes Fatales blog, Diane! I try to balance wanting to eat the whole pizza with imagining how happy I'll be to find some the next day!

[Diane Vallere]

Dana, I have actually used that very logic with myself. Better to have four slices of leftovers than three...

[Judy Alter]

Diane, I appreciate your openness about shame...and it helped me since I just ate, late at night, an English muffin slathered with butter. But I think there's a line there--I can feel shame over eating what I shouldn't or losing my temper with my daughter, but shame doesn't cover deliberate cruelty. I think of the horrors going on in the world--or in our country--and I think shame doesn't cover it. Shame leaves us relatively intact. Guilt doesn't. Interesting perspective to me.

[Paula Gail Benson]

Diane, I'm with you on both shame and pizza. Best wishes for Suede to Rest. It looks like a wonderful read.

[Diane Vallere]

Hi Judy,

I agree; shame, guilt, and remorse go hand in hand, and sometimes it seems like all three are needed in larger doses.

Paula, What is it about pizza? Just...yum.

Thanks for the comments!

[Diane Vallere]

***WINNER!!***

Congratulations, Karen in Ohio! You won a copy of SUEDE TO REST (ebook or paperback, your choice).

Contest is now closed.