By Elaine Viets
"MY DIABETES TEST STRIPS COST HOW MUCH?" screamed the angry man. He was pounding the pharmacy counter at my local Walgreens. "That’s outrageous! Ridiculous!"
The young woman at the pharmacy counter managed to look sympathetic as he continued complaining. All of us in line felt his pain, though I wondered why he was yelling at a helpless clerk. She couldn’t demand that Big Pharma lower the price.
As the angry man ranted, the line grew restless. It was nearly three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon and we had things to do.
"So do you want the test strips, sir?" the clerk asked.
"Yeah, I’ll take them," he said, as if he was doing her a favor. He left, muttering. I bought my $11 bottle of lotion.
I like the staff at this Fort Lauderdale Walgreens. I consider them co-conspirators. Like many Americans, my heath insurance company looks for ways not to pay for my prescriptions. The helpful pharmacy staff will say, "Hey, you can only refill that prescription every 30 days. Wait till Thursday and your insurance will cover it."
That’s why I always give this Walgreens the highest marks in the "How are we doing?" monthly sweepstakes for $3,000 cash. I have no hope I’ll ever win 3,000 bucks, but unlike the lottery, I have a slightly better chance. Especially since I don’t buy lottery tickets.
So I go to www.Wagcares.com and answer the questions about my service at Walgreens.
These are predictable variations on standard mystery shopping questions: Was the staff polite and helpful? Were the items I wanted easy to find? Was the store clean?
But lately, I’ve been seeing different questions. Questions I find unsettling. Now Wagcares asks:
"Were you greeted by the staff when you entered the store?"
Yes.
No.
Don’t remember.
"During your most recent visit to Walgreens, did any employee say the following to you:
"Welcome to Walgreens
"Be Well
"Thank You"
Be Well? I wasn’t sick. I was buying lotion. What idiots say "be well" for that?
No one. Unless they were ordered to do so by an idiot at the home office.
But when Walgreens said, "We appreciate your feedback," I let them know. "Your staff is helpful and useful," I wrote. "Please don’t make them parrot stupid phrases like ‘Be Well.’ It’s demeaning to your staff and pointless to your customers. ‘Thank you’ is enough."
But it wasn’t. I went back to Walgreens again, this time for lipstick. And the survey still wanted to know if an employee told me to "Be Well."
Be Well? Why? Was the lipstick supposed to make my lips shrivel up and fall off?
Walgreens is not getting the message. So let me try it this way:
Dear Walgreens,
Like millions of Americans, I shop at one of your stores. And like these Americans, I’ve been forced to do pointless things to please management for a lousy – and I do mean lousy – paycheck. Here are some things I or my friends have had to do:
(1) Work as a banquet bartender for a giant hotel chain and wear a hillbilly costume – with a corn cob pipe – at a theme party.
(2) Answer a store phone with, "Thank you for calling The Big Store, where service is always delivered with a smile and Some Totally Useless Item is on sale for X.99 through Saturday. My name is Elaine."
(3) Go to company motivational meetings, learn corporate chants and get a free motivational coffee mug.
There’s more, much more. I could go on for hours. I could also shop at CVS.
Instead, I’m begging you: STOP WITH THE STUPID PHRASES. We’re people, not parrots.
Be Well.
****
Win THE FASHION HOUND MURDERS, Elaine's 5th Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper Mystery. Click on Contests at www.elaineviets.com
Elaine:
They heard you! No more "Be Well" spouting at Walgreens! Now if they will update their survey all will truly "be well".
Posted by: Julie Herman | March 26, 2015 at 09:05 AM
I'm geting mixed comments from Walgreens' workers on Facebook, Julie. Some stores have stopped it, others still insist.
Hoping all Walgreens get the memo.
Posted by: ElaineViets | March 26, 2015 at 09:11 AM
Aw, Elaine, and all this time I thought they were truly concerned about my health. ;-)
Posted by: Storyteller Mary | March 26, 2015 at 11:40 AM
I'm sure they are, Mary. Especially if you need expensive drugs. Be Well . . . enough to make it to the pharmacy counter.
Posted by: ElaineViets | March 26, 2015 at 11:41 AM
Elaine, be calm! Or Well! I guess I just don't like anyone telling me how to be. Like people who tell me to smile and be happy. I'll be all I can be . . . wait, that's another slogan.
Posted by: Charlaine Harris | March 27, 2015 at 07:19 AM
Jeez, Charlaine, can't I just be myself? And why don't they let their staff be?
Posted by: ElaineViets | March 27, 2015 at 01:50 PM