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Happy Holidays from the Femmes Fatales

 The Femmes Fatales wish you and yours happy holidays. Here are a few photos from our album.

Leigh and/or Toni L.P. Kelner and Sid the family skeleton, meet the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser from “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” All of us love watching Christmas specials!

 

 

Marcia Talley, who spends the winter in the Bahamas, shows us how Hope Town residents prepare for Christmas.

'Stach-ing through the snow: (from left, Dana Cameron, Catriona McPherson and Toni L. P. Kelner/Leigh Perry.

 Below: Elaine Viets (left), Marcia Talley and Linda Landrigan, editor of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine.

 

 Elaine's new Angela Richman Death Investigator series debuted in AHMM.
Dana Cameron's holiday reading and her new novel.

Femmes books are terrific holiday gifts. Dean/Miranda James is at the top of any cozy lover's wish list.

Elaine Viets' CHECKED OUT was named a top cozy by Suspense Magazine

 

Kris Neri lets readers get their kicks on Route 66 . . . or enjoy a magical moment.

Marcia Talley's much-praised cozy is another good read.

Hank Phillippi Ryan is a thrilling choice.

A Few Book Reviews

 

by Mary Saums

 

 

Happy December! Amidst the hectic running-around-getting-stuff-to-give-and/or-eat, amongst the bustling mad crowds and hustling gangs of carolers, don't forget to recharge yourself with some quiet book time and a nice cup of tea.

 

Here's what I've been reading:

 

 

 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? by Jodi Taylor is #6 in the hilarious Chronicles of St. Mary's series. At St. Mary's, time travel is the name of the game. Historians on staff choose a particular historical moment, then go back to see how it really happened. In this one, the team visits 15th century France to study the last days of Joan of Arc. Also, they have a little trouble at King Tut's tomb. They go to the Pleistocene era in hopes of glimpsing Neanderthals and, thanks to the inexperience of a few trainees, end up with a mammoth problem. Aside from the tragedy of St. Joan, the crew manages to live up to their usual kooky standards. Love this series.

 

 

 

STORM IN A TEACUP by Emmie Mears is 1st in a new urban fantasy series. Ayala Storm slays demons at night, then gets up and works a regular PR job during the day. Lots of action and humor, sure to please fans of this genre. Added bonus - the Audible version is read by Buffy alumni Amber Benson who does a great job. 

 

 

 

THE ORIGIN AND EVOLUTION OF EARTH FROM THE BIG BANG TO THE FUTURE OF HUMAN EXISTENCE by Professor Robert M. Hazen

 

Not really a book book, but one of the audio courses from The Great Courses. Professor Hazen is truly remarkable, both as lecturer and as a master organizer of tons and eons of relevant material. Should be required reading for all manufacturing executives and other polluters. Accessible and wonderful.

 

 

 

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH by Richard Dawkins is also about the natural wonders of the world. Though not in a strictly linear presentation as the lectures above, Dawkins gives in-depth looks into scientific discoveries that have helped us understand all that is. 100% B-rilliant. One to read again.

 

 

So, how's your book life these days? Let me know what's literarily good in your world.

 

 

 

He Shouldna Done It

By Elaine Viets

Don and I bought our Fort Lauderdale condo from a British ex-pat I'll call Rodney because that's not his real name. Rodney liked to brag how rich he was.

Once we bought the condo, we figured why Rodney had so much money:

He was a do-it-yourselfer. And he shouldna done it.

For years, we've been undoing Rodney's work.

We loved the condo's water view, even if we didn't think much of Rodney's decorating -- he painted the entire place gray. Not fashionable gray, but damp basement gray. Even the bathrooms. He also had gold ceiling fans and a custom-made chandelier in the dining room that was wrought iron with southwest designs and strung with red plastic chili peppers.

 I wish I'd photographed this unique light fixture. Rodney took it with him.

Rodney's DIY projects seemed small at first. The guest bath toilet seat was worn, so he fixed it with Wite-Out. Who does that for a toilet seat?

 
Rodney's work had just started. The toilet didn't flush right, and when we removed the lid, we saw why: Rodney had repaired the chain that connected the handle to the flapper with . . .

Are you ready?

Duct tape!

Yep, a neat rectangle of duct tape held the chain together until the ink was dry on the condo paperwork.

The wiring was wonky, and the electrician had to rewire three rooms and put in new light fixtures, thanks to Rodney. It took months to undo his DIY work, but we thought we'd caught it all.

Three weeks ago, we asked James, a respected local handyman, to fix the leaky ceilings and the shower doors in two bathrooms. James quoted us a reasonable price. We congratulated ourselves for finding a first-rate handyman who did good work at a good price. This project would be quick and painless.

The bathrooms have 3/4th-inch white tiles, and when James started working in the shower, the tiny tiles fell off in his hand.

You'll never guess what was holding them on the wall.

Paint!

Once again, Rodney had done it himself. When the tiles came loose, he'd slapped them back on with a coat of paint.

Our bathroom repair was no longer quick or painless.

It's a good thing we like James, because we're going to be seeing a lot of him, well into the new year.

And if I ever run into Rodney, I have a little project of my own

I want to put my hands around his neck and press very hard.

This is one do it yourself project I'm looking forward to.

 ********************************************************************************************************

    Win MURDER WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS, my fourth Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper mystery. You'll enjoy this Christmas cozy. Click Contests at www.elaineviets.com.

 

 

Kisses First!

by Leigh Perry / Toni L.P. Kelner

Like many people who celebrate Christmas, I've been feeling a certain amount of stress these past few weeks. I mean, it's just over a week until Christmas and I haven't mailed packages to my father, sister, and mother-in-law. I don't have a present for one of my BFFs, and I'm not finished shopping for my daughters or my husband. And forget decorations. (Except the Santa hat on my full-sized plastic skeleton.) And, also like many other people, I've been beating myself up over this. Kind of a lot.

Then I was discussing principals for giving feedback with my daughter, and one of the key ones is the kiss-kick ratio. When you give feedback, it's more effective if you start with the positive points, and then move on to room for improvement. Ideally, you should give more kisses than kicks, too. That goes for just about anything from performance reviews at work to writing critiques to notes from the director of a play.

As I was giving this sage advice, it occurred to me that I really ought to follow it when I'm judging myself.

Sure, it's true I've still got a lot to do. But I've also done a lot of shopping, have mailed half a dozen packages, ordered gifts for business colleagues, picked up gift cards for teachers, reserved a ham and a gingerbread house for pickup, invited people for Christmas dinner, arranged to have several gifts shipped, attended a school Christmas play and music school recital, and ... The fact is, I've done a lot. We even have a Christmas tree up. Okay, it doesn't have any decorations on it, but it smells wonderful! And, like I said, I've got that skeleton with a Santa hat to brighten the room.

So folks, when you're starting to get frantic when you think about all you've got to do, whether for the holidays or work or anything, stop kicking yourself and start with some kisses instead. Whether you prefer the chocolate kind or the bunny kind, it's always great to start with kisses!

Magic Town

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  First an explanation. Or at least an introduction to the "You never know" theme.

A year or so ago, may be two, I had finished a presentation at an out of state bookstore--I think it was Centuries and Sleuths in Chicago, and was all happy and exhausted, and thought--as one does--I need a book. I was about to fly back to Boston, so I needed a book that would be perfect for the plane.  Feeling enthralled with the writing life, I decided I would buy a book by an author I had never read, and maybe  a type of book that was not my unusual fare.  I also decided (too late) I wasn't going to think too hard about it, and just pick something with a wonderful cover.     

Mr. Churchill's Secretary was right there, and perfect in every way.

I loved it, devoured it. And somehow, soon after, randomly (at some convention or other) met the author, Susan Elia MacNeal. And she is wonderful, and now we are great pals, and blog sisters on Jungle Red, and that is how the world can work.

SO. Susan--who is getting a lot of holiday gifts this year, including that her new book MRS. ROOSEVELT'S CONFIDANTE is a NYT bestseller, and her series has been optioned by Daisy Ridley,who, as soon as Star Wars opens and everyone falls in love with her, will be a major star--  had a tiny but wonderful moment in her neighborhood. Which I thought you should see.

She says: "This tree is one near us that I see on my walk to Kiddo's school or my gym. The castle, complete with knights and archers, simply appeared one day last month. I'm pleased to report that even in Park Slope, Brooklyn, all of the soldiers have stayed, and continue to stay, in the castle.."

And it shows you, doesn't it, that you never know? And that the world can still be a magical place! Wishing you much joy this season--and your own discovered castles.  

 

 

Your holiday shopping: covered!

by Dana

As we're counting down to 2016, there's a lot of holidays left to celebrate and still a bunch of shopping to do, but no fear! I'm here to help out! I'm not great at shopping, so what I do to make the process easier for me is to buy from artists, writers, and organizations I know and love. There's probably a book event or art fair near you, so chances are, you can also also get your gift personalized.

Etsy is a super place to start—there's a whole world of gifts to suit every fandom. Or how about greeting cards and holiday cards or prints? I'm in love with these by Roxanne Patruznick. 

by Roxanne Patruznick

I also love going to art or science museums , and they have some of the best gift shops ever. Or if you're feeling flush and looking for some stunning glass art, check out the work by Lyla Nelson. (Except you can't have this one; it's mine.)

Check out this fabulous Raith Rovers football shirt from Val McDermid! I won it, emerging victorious from a hard-fought auction at Murder and Mayhem in Milwaukee (part of which went to support Erin's Cardiac Crew).  That auction's over, but don't despair!  There is another auction still going on, and you can get signed books or character names for your mystery-reading friend. But hurry—there's only a day or two left!  

Thanks, Val!

There's auctions and do-gooding in the SF/F world, too! How about making a donation to WorldBuilders, and getting into a drawing for cool prizes? There's some items left on the auction, too. Or you could donate directly to Heifer International (or the cause of your recipient's choice—what is better than saying “hey, have a great holiday—I'm helping make the world a better place for you!”?

Or how about a subscription to a journal or literary mag? Die-hard Sherlockians might dig a year's worth of the Baker Street Journal. Got a hardbitten someone in your life who's looking for the coolest noir? Then check out Thuglit. And for anyone who's into everything, from traditional mysteries to comic books to movies, you can't go wrong with Crimespree Magazine.  

Then there's a registration to a readers convention, like Malice Domestic and Bouchercon. There are regional events, like Murder and Mayhem in Milwaukee, or Boskone, for SF/F readers. (And here's a hint—if you go, you can get books or art—signed--for NEXT year!)

So many awesome books...

And well, there's always books (or comic books—some of the best writing today is in comics). A lot of best-of lists are coming out now, so those are excellent resources. Great suggests can be found in blogs, too, like Dru's Book Musings and BOLO—or, even, ahem, you could check out the latest from the Femmes Fatales own authors!

Happy Holidays!

'Tis the Season

Many of us have our own, personal traditions for this holiday season. For many, the tradition is a re-read of a favorite book, and for others, watching -- yet again -- a favorite movie. There is one particular Christmas mystery that I do like to re-read periodically, Charlotte MacLeod's witty Rest You Merry. At the moment I have no idea where my copy of the book is because it's no doubt in one of the many boxes I have yet to unpack.

My tradition for the season is watching my favorite holiday-themed movies. I have the top two on DVD, and the others I usually catch on TCM this time of year. My favorite of them all is "The Bishop's Wife" (1947) starring Cary Grant, Loretta Young, and David Niven. I can't remember just when I discovered this movie, but I do know that it made an immediate and lasting impact. It has a combination of whimsy, sweetness, and humor that I continue to find irresistible year after year. If you don't know the movie, here's a simple plot outline: Cary Grant is an angel who is sent in response to a plea from David Niven (the bishop of the title) for guidance. Loretta Young is the beautiful, somewhat neglected wife of the bishop. Cary does his duty although he is beguiled by his feelings for Loretta. It's a story about ambition, love, and understanding what is truly meaningful in life. Supporting players include Elsa Lanchester, Gladys Cooper, James Gleason, and Monty Woolley. It was remade as "The Preacher's Wife" with Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington. I've never seen the remake and don't plan to.

My second favorite is one I discovered only a few years ago, thanks to TCM. "Christmas in Connecticut" stars Barbara Stanwyck and Dennis Morgan, with memorable supporting players Sydney Greenstreet, Reginald Gardiner, and S.Z. "Cuddles" Sakall. Dennis Morgan is a war hero, one who starved himself to save a friend, and all he thinks about is being able to eat good food again. His nurse writes to the publisher of a magazine (Greenstreet) about him, and Greenstreet decides Morgan should spend Christmas with culinary expert and writer Barbara Stanwyck, her husband and child at their Connecticut farm. There are a few problems with this: Stanwyck isn't married, has no child or a farm in Connecticut, and she can't cook. The shenanigans that result from trying to keep the publisher from finding out his star writer is a fraud are amusing and sweet.

Other more recent favorites include "The Man Who Came to Dinner" (with Monty Woolley, Bette Davis, Jimmy Durante, Ann Sheridan, Reginald Gardiner, and the always wonderful Mary Wicks) and "A Christmas Carol" (the 1938 version with Reginald Owen, Leo G. Carroll, and Gene Lockhart). I know many people are fond of "It's a Wonderful Life," but despite my love of whimsy and of Jimmy Stewart, this is one that I haven't really taken to for some reason.

My holiday season is never complete unless I take time to watch these favorite movies. What are your favorite holiday movies?

Half a glass of silver linings

It's been quite a year round this way. Busy, beset with surgery and injury, missing some of the components that make other years great (like weekends, holidays (in the vacation sense), and Bloody Scotland) but last Monday the end was in sight.

As long as nothing else went wrong, I was confident I could finish the draft, knock it into shape and submit it on time. I was going to type 16 hrs a day, eat all meals one-handed, and keep the coffee flowing. Nothing would slow me down or get in my way.

Ha.

On Tuesday, my wallet got stolen. Stolen, not lost. It was removed from my bag and taken to Target, where one of my credit cards was used to buy seven $1000 instant cash cards and a flat-screen tv.

I cancelled everything and . . . there I was with no cash, no cards, no driver's licence, no food and no coffee - Oh, didn't I say? I discovered the theft at the supermarket check-out when I was trying to buy the one-handed food and the 10lbs of French roast. And my husband was travelling and not due back till Friday night.

Now nothing was going to slow me down and get in my way except visits to the bank, the police station, the DMV and the new wallet shop.

But that's where the glints of silver lining started to show through.

At the bank, where I went with my passport, hoping to beg for some cash to tide me over even though I had no financial ID, the teller ordered my new cards, immediately asked me how much cash I needed, and chatted about books and writing. I didn't mention ID in case I hurt her feelings. Truly, credit unions are not The Man.

At the police station, I met the owner of the local bookshop (there for equally innocent reasons, I should add) and got a sympathetic ear. I also got - when I went into her shop to buy a comfort-copy of Ragnar Jonasson's Snowblind - a replacement loyalty card with a severe rash of replacement stamps all over it.

But then came the DMV. And what good can ever come of a visit to the DMV, right? Read on. The woman behind the desk said I wouldn't get a new photo on my new licence. I asked if she could call it up on her screen and *then* make a decision. She hit some keys saying "I can look, but I'm telling you, we don't give new pictures for replac- Oh." She stared. She giggled. "Okay, yeah, go round to window 8 and get a new picture."

Then I went to buy a wallet. One place I looked didn't have wallets I liked but did have gorgeous velvet and taffeta cocktail dresses at bargain prices. (To be revealed at Left Coast Crime in Phoenix.) And the next wallet shop had this!

 Plus, on Tuesday night I had popcorn and cocoa for dinner, absolutely guilt-free.

 

Buy - - or else

by Donna Andrews.

Advertising has changed.

Advertisers used to try to lure you. Charm you.  Entice you into staying in your chair instead of using the commercial break to hit the bathroom and the fridge. Distract you from turning the page to continue the article you were reading. Or, early in the Internet era, intrigue you into clicking through.

Ads no longer seduce.  They bludgeon. At least it's that way on the Internet.

Perhaps the worst offenders are the "expand on hover" ads.  You've seen them.  There's a little ad somewhere on the page, or maybe something that doesn't even look like an ad, but let your cursor cross even one pixel of that magic space on its way to clicking something you actually want to click and the ad will expand to cover the entire page.

The expand-on-hover ad is usually combined with my other candidate for most obnoxious: the video ad. If I'm browsing the Internet, reading stuff and maybe looking at pictures of stuff, I don't want any videos to start playing unless I click on one of those right-facing arrows that has become a universal symbol for "play." Nothing makes me less inclined to buy an advertiser's product that having their ad interrupt the music I'm listening to, the dialogue of the TV show I'm watching, or maybe just the peace and quiet in which I have chosen to browse. Especially since most of these advertisers do not provide the double bars that universally signal "stop!"

And to top it all off, not only has a screen suddenly expanded to cover your whole screen, blasting you with an ad, but all too often the ad also breaks one of the universal givens of the Internet--indeed, of computing: that there's always a way to exit whatever you've gotten yourself into. In Windows, it's the X in the top right corner.  In Apple, the red dot in the top left. You don't have to study the whole screen--navigation is simple, easy to understand, and consistent.

Not so with ads.  Sometimes the X to close symbol is in the top left.  Or the bottom right. Or it's a text link. Sometimes there's a click-through link disguising itself as a close button. Even if there is a close button, often it does not appear until a given number of seconds after the ad has started. . . ten seconds, twenty, even thirty. Advertisers, do you have any idea how long thirty seconds is on the Internet? Long before it's over, I'm gone.   Gone from the page I was on, maybe gone forever from the site that hosted the ad, and if I'm irritated enough, the advertiser goes on my "No Buy" list. If I do stay the ten, twenty, thirty seconds, I generally use the time to click over to the advertiser's website and shoot them an email telling them exactly how much less likely I now am ever to buy their products.

It's also clear that some sites mine your cookies to show you advertising related to stuff you've been looking at. I needed to replace my purse recently.  Yes, purse, singular; to me, the purse isn't a fashion item but a very practical one. At any given time I have just one, and I want it to be a particular size, shape, look, and feel. I went on several lengthy online searches over last few months, trying to find one that would work, and after every search, black leather purses kept popping up in the ads I saw on various sites--festooning the margins, and sometimes forming decorative dividers between sections of an article. Advertisers--if any one of those purses had been what I was looking for, I'd already have bought it. Showing me the rejects only gives me two reasons to avoid your site in future--you didn't have anything I wanted, and you performed the Internet equivalent of chasing me out of the store yelling "But take another look! I'm sure you'd like this one if you tried it! Please buy! I won't stop chasing you till you buy!"

Yes, advertising provides the money to keep things rolling. Many sites would not survive without advertising.  I get that. But there are--or should be--some rules of engagement. If the advertiser can't find a way to convey its message without interfering with my surfing experience, then I'm going to vote with my feet.  Or my mouse.  And then with my wallet.

So if you're selling something, take a few minutes to consider whether you're trying to seduce your clients or bludgeon them. And if you're running a site that displays advertising, spend some time seeing your site as people like me see it, and ask yourself if you've giving a reason for people to bookmark you--or a reason to blacklist you.

 

 

The town with all those hos

by Kris Neri

Anyone familiar with my books should know I like writing about quirky people and places, but in real life, I admire quirky towns, too. Places that radiate an offbeat, whimsical spirit.

My favorite quirky town is Jerome, Arizona. A small town nestled in the Black Hills overlooking the Verde Valley and Sedona, Jerome sprang to life in the 1880s, when someone discovered it contained a billion dollars’ worth of copper below the surface. Before long, the population of that tiny spec of a town clinging to the side of a hill, soared to 15,000 (today it’s around 500). To keep its miners happy, mine owners created diversions for workers stuck in what was the middle of nowhere. By the 1920s, Jerome sported a clubhouse, an opera house, and a staggering number of restaurants, including as many as fourteen Chinese eateries — along with a thriving red-light district. It was its red-light district that caused Jerome to be known in its heyday as “the wickedest town in the west.”

Today, it’s a thriving artists’ colony, with unusual shops and one-of-a-kind galleries. It’s also a place that celebrates its unique character in all kinds of ways. The owners of one house set down the hill decorate the entrance to their street-level driveway with four flamencos, adorned in clothing designed to celebrate whatever season we happen to be in. I don’t know the owners and couldn’t say how they describe their unusual greeters, but I call those flamencos “the girls,” and I love catching sight of whatever they happen to be wearing. Here’s how they look dressed in their Christmas finery:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By New Year’s Eve, it'll be top hats and blingy dresses.

Jerome also brings whimsy to its flaunting of its wicked past. There’s a plaque posted next to what was known as “Husband’s Alley,” a narrow space between buildings that allowed gentlemen to disappear fast after leaving houses of prostitution. And businesses will often take the name of the former bordello they occupy, such as a gift shop known as the “House of Joy.”

Its naughty past even plays a key role in its holiday celebration. Most homes and stores, in addition to whatever traditional lighting they’ve used, now also sport large letters that read: H-O. “Ho” for Santa Claus’s “ho-ho-ho,” of course, and also for its past with…well, so many hos. HOs in every window and perched on countless rooftops — how can you help but love that quirky charm?

HO to you and yours this holiday season

Do you also harbor a love for quirky places? Tell us about your favorites.