A Nice Cuppa Tea

This blog has been coming for a while. For so long, in fact, that a bit of it is obsolete because Dame Maggie Smith covered it in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

when she channelled her inner Dowager Duchess and explained to the American hosts that tea is a dried herb that needs to be immersed in boiling water to release its flavor and a cup of warm water with a teabag in the saucer is never ever going to produce a drinkable cuppa.

I've been here for nearly six years, and every time I think I'm over it I have a bad day and a dire need and find out I'm not. "Can you put the bag in first, please?" I'll call across the counter to some puzzled barista, who frowns at me. As if I'm asking for something weird or taxing. When the person in front of me asked for an extra-hot, half-caff, licorice, soy, chai-latte in a for-here cup.

(I'm not over it.) No one who asks for coffee gets some coffee beans, a mortar and pestle, and a cup of warm water. Why not? It can't be because you can't make drinkable coffee that way, because you can't make drinkable tea that way either.

Extra annoying is when you ask for a cup of tea and get a cup of warm water, lemon wedges, a sachet of honey, and a cigar box with seventeen different kinds of "tea" (all tasting of the one that's got orange in it) but no actual tea.

Because "tea" means black Indian tea. English breakfast tea. Or Irish. And, at a push, Earl Grey. That's what my people mean when they say "tea". They don't mean chamomile or peppermint tisane. They mean tea.

It's like beer. If you offer someone beer (tea) and then give them root beer (chamomile) or ginger beer (peppermint), you're a bad friend. You're a very bad waiter. If they asked for beer they probably didn't mean Guinness (Earl Grey) and they definitely didn't mean some hops, some malt and some water. 

I do try to think about American visitors to Britain asking for ice and getting the reply: "Why? Have you sprained your ankle?" or maybe just roaming the corridors of a London hotel looking for the ice machine. That's a crying shame. And can I also apologise for the instant coffee? That's a minor tragedy.

Anyway. At least Starbucks makes great tea. I even have to tell them not to put both bags in the vente cup. Because all the boiling water thundering in on top of two bags makes the tea too strong. It's like a miracle. And they give you the second teabag for keepsies too.

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Dina Willner]

Yes! And you didn't even mention how often the water tastes of coffee because the same pots are used for both hot water and coffee.

[Susan Neace]

In my neck of the woods the word tea is preceded by sweet and is served on ice. Many years ago on a trip to Paris my poor coffee loving husband was reduced to going to a McDonalds in the hopes of finding American coffee, without success. I suppose Starbucks has fixed that problem in Paris by now

[Mark]

Another reason to avoid Starbucks as far as I'm concerned. Then again, I don't like coffee and only rarely drink any kind of tea. Or soda. Or anything other than plain water, really.

[Lori Rader-Day]

YES. This is why I'm a Starbux whore while traveling because they (along with a few other, harder to find exceptions) get tea right.

[catriona]

Oh, Dina! Blech. Funnily enough the only time I've ever had coffee made with tea instead of water was in Edinburgh. I still don't know what went wrong with the process but it was a strange flavour. And Susan - I bow to your greater troubles. Trying to get iced tea in Britain must be impossible. And Mark . . . I'm speechless. I don't drink soda either but I can't imagine life without coffee and tea.

[Dana]

There are moments in life that only Oscar Wilde can sum up: "Detestable girl! But I require tea!"

[Katie]

PREACH! As an American, I apologize for our lack of ta understanding. In St. Louis we have a tea room run by an amazing British woman, and I keep trying to convince her to let me move in!

[Elaine Viets]

You are my sister from across the Atlantic, Catriona. I like China tea, Dragonwell Green to be exact, and the floor scrapings in a sack that pass for green tea are a sin and a shame. I carry my own tea with me in my purse when I travel because it's impossible to get a good cup unless I give precise instructions.

[Gwen Mayo]

I am a total tea snob. The brand of black tea doesn't matter as much as how it is made and served. Starbucks doesn't cut it unless they can serve it in an actual teacup. Paper damages the flavor.

[Triss Stein]

This is so -sadly - true. There's no point to "tea" that has no caffeine. Herbal, yuck. And it's not tea if the water isn't boiling. I klind of keep a menatl list of the Manhattan places that serve real tea. Not nearly enough of them!

[Jesse]

This was the best thing I've read all day. I will commit it to memory. I thought that you put on the kettle then rinse a tea pot with hot water, or boiling water, then place the tea in, then pour the water, wait and pour.

Although I was completely raised by wolves and had ice tea in summer and hot tea only when sick with lemon and honey, I did grow up to quite enjoy tea. I like it with my special pot and my cup, and a bit of silence.

[Ruth Nixon]

I have a special tea pot and a cozy and tea a Welsh friend buys in Dixon when she comes here to the dentist and I had a beloved MIL born in Scotland. Married a Southern gentleman so drink sweet tea. and we have a tea shop here with all the fixings but my special treat is a Starbucks latte..

[Marlyn]

Amen.
I'm used to getting strange looks when I ask for my tea to be prepared properly.
My husband always feels the need to explain that I'm Canadian and I take my tea very seriously.

[Karen in Ohio]

One of my daughters recently traveled to Sri Lanka and she brought back a sample package of six different loose teas. I'm sure they are not nearly as wonderful as if they were packaged differently, but I'm still enjoying them.

Another daughter gave me an electric teakettle. The combination makes life so much easier: loose tea and boiling water.

[Maya Corrigan]

Before making tea with boiling water, I warm the cup with hot water for a minute. If I don't start with a warm cup, my tea with milk doesn't stay hot until the last drop. Alas, Starbucks doesn't give me a pre-warmed cup, but otherwise it's the best place to get both hot tea and a shot of milk for it.

[Clea Simon]

Sing it! At least at my local Au Bon Pain, they hand me the cup and the bag, and I can pour the scalding water over the bag. don't get me started on the bread though. How can you be called...
ok, I started.