HOW OTHERS SEE US

My husband, our middle son, and I went to see “Deadpool” recently. For those of you who haven’t seen the Ryan Reynolds movie, it’s about a superhero who is gross in the extreme. All the other superheros think so! His language is foul, his methods are crude, and he is anything but noble.

Middle Son said, “Oldest Son told me to watch your face during a scene or two.”

Me: “Why would he think any of this would shock me?”

Middle Son: “Because he hasn’t read your books.”

Oldest was seeing me as a fluffy elderly woman. Because he doesn’t know the beast inside me, apparently.

It’s true I’m a mild-mannered church-going middle-class woman, brought up in a small town by wonderful parents. It’s true I do my best to be polite. It’s true I’ve been married to Hal for 28 years. It’s true I have three children, all adults, and two grandchildren, whom I adore. I also rescue dogs and have favorite charities.

It’s also true that I know a lot about evil. I understand the effects of violence. I have thought about causing death in at least a hundred ways. Like Miss Marple, I am skeptical about peoples’ motivations and secret yearnings. When I hear a story on the news about a recent murder, I am quick to suspect who committed it. Sadly, I’m usually right.

Every mystery writer I know has this dual personality. I have never met another writer who “acts like a murderer,” whatever that might be. But I think we all have a fund of knowledge that most pleasant people do not possess, and that most pleasant people are very content with that state.

What is it about mystery writers that gives them that secret (or not so secret) propensity for the macabre and the terrifying sides of human nature?

I don’t know. But I have to tell you, I LOVED “Deadpool.” So there, Oldest!

Charlaine Harris

Comments

[Karen in Ohio]

Charlaine, this is a perfect example of how often we get things wrong, just by looking. So often, especially for we women of a certain age, we are taken at face value alone. Even by our own kids!

*I* have read your books, and know you are one quirky chick. Love it!

[Charlaine Harris]

Hi, Karen! I confess that sometimes I have the feeling I'm invisible since I reached a certain age. I have met a famous actor (who shall remain nameless here) THREE TIMES, and he still didn't know who I was. When I observed that I knew who HE was after meeting him three times, he was stunned. Obviously, he was memorable and I was not! And thanks . . . I'll own quirky and up you to weird.

[Karen in Ohio]

I can relate. And own that weird. You earned it.

[Elaine Viets]

My mom was a mystery shopper and used to go on assignments with her friend. She said the only thing more invisible than one housewife was two. Now, as I get older, I find that's also true of mature women. I'm guilty of it myself. I went to see the musical "Kinky Boots" in Fort Lauderdale and wondered at the busloads of older folks, many of whom used canes and walkers. Forgetting that I'm no spring chicken and have used both a cane and a walker at various times.

[Ellie Enos]

I have empathy for you. Until I was forty, my family gave me cook books, cooking paraphernalia, and books for holidays. After I graduated from college, they gave me a boom box and Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" CD. Over time, my children now recognize and appreciate my quirkiness. They know I read Laurell K. Hamilton (after reading recommendations from Charlaine) and Laura Childs Tea Shop mysteries. I listen to Ceelo Green's naughty version of "Forget You" and George Strait. My daughter always tells people (surprised by her colorful metaphors) that she takes after her mom.

[Susan Neace]

If you read the Dorothy Sayers Lord Peter Whimsey novels you may recall he employed a whole agency of older women to investigate for him. I also loved Ms. Pollifax who volunteered to be a spy in Dorothy Gilman's novels. Ignore us real grey haired old ladies at your peril. I had a client in a divorce case whose husband sent her ugly and vulgar texts and emails constantly. When he wouldn't stop voluntarily I asked the judge for a hearing on it and read them out loud in open court. I am sure my reading them made them that much more shocking which was totally intentional. The ugly texts stopped

[Charlaine Harris]

It's great when kids recognize that their moms are not stereotypes, right? That they are actual people? Ellie, my kids get that sometimes, but not always.

I always loved the fact that Lord Peter had a whole agency of invisible women to help him out, and that Hercule Poirot relied on Miss Lemon from time to time. Susan, I wish I could have been there to hear your calculated reading. Great move.

[Kelly Saderholm]

I am currently teaching Middle grades writing/reading skills. One of my students and I shocked each other upon discovering we'd had both seen Deadpool. I thought that at 13, she was waaaayyy too young for that film. She, in turn, had to adjust her perception of her "Mature English teacher" btw we both loved it.

[Charlaine Harris]

I would have thought she was too young, too, though apparently her parents disagreed. It's so funny how we misperceive each other, based solely on age!

[Cat Tryon]

Big family gathering, had to move cars around. I said I'd drive cousin's car (stick shift). My oldest said "You can't drive a stick!". I said "You know, I had a life for 30 years before you were born!". They don't know us, they just know "Mom".

[D Marie]

If you deliberately bait your parent's siblings you can learn many interesting things. My father was the oldest of 8 - he had no secrets. My mother did get to keep a few. I discovered that the excuse 'but you did it, too' was of no use whatsoever, though. And now I'm the one wondering if my brothers are going to rat me out or if I should get in with my version of the story first...