Bite Your Tongue (or Sit on Your Hands)

I follow several writers, some published, some unpublished, on social media. Many post news of book deals, tweet about signing with agents, and ‘gram photos of awards. Friends and followers like, “heart”, and share the good news over social networks. Some writers also share their disappointments. A series is canceled, a manuscript doesn’t sell, an agent query is rejected. Friends and followers virtually gather ‘round to show support, offer encouragement, and share advice.

Fortunately, most writers limit themselves to these common uses of social media. However, a few writers take up their smartphones, not to seek congratulations or commiseration, but to excoriate those they blame for, in their view, thwarting their literary ambitions. You’ve read their posts: the “stupid” publishers don’t understand them, the “opportunistic” agents pass up the Great American Novel because it’s not marketable, the “idiot” editors insist grammar matters, the readers who leave negative reviews are—you fill in the epithet. These writers do not take rejection well. As they see it, their manuscript is perfect; everyone else is wrong. The “story” is the only thing that matters (they sneer at punctuation and spelling) and anyone who doesn’t agree their novel is brilliant enough to warrant the expenditure of 300,000 words is a “moron”. Or worse. Advice, or anything other than wholehearted endorsement of their vitriolic screeds by friends and followers is treated to the same burn as the offending agent (or editor or publisher) and to the ultimate social media act of retribution—a block.

Please don’t be that writer. Nobody enjoys rejection. No one expects anyone to be happy about rejection. But letting the whole world (and posting to social media is akin to letting the whole world know, regardless of your privacy settings) is not the way to handle it. Rant and rage if you must but do it in the privacy of your home or car or broom closet. Make sure no one but the cat/dog/goldfish can hear you. They won’t talk; humans will. Pin the rejection letter to a cork board and throw darts at it. Stick any leftover pins in a voodoo doll with the agent’s name scrawled on it in blood. But don’t snap photos to post to Instagram. Keep your anger to yourself.

Agents, editors, and publishers are on social media, too. They’re the original networkers. They networked before it was cool. You may not follow any of their accounts but at least one of your followers does. And publishing people follow each other. You know that caustic email you sent to agent X informing them how dense they must be not to recognize your genius? Well, agent X just tweeted a screenshot of your email to the Twitterverse, which includes agents A through W and Y and Z. You just been branded “difficult”. You’ve just been branded a lot of other things that aren’t repeatable in polite society. Think anyone’s going to represent you now? Nope. You think agents are morons; agents think you’re a toxic jerk. Editors and publishers agree with the agents. The same goes for your foaming at the mouth social media posts. A screenshot of a flame goes viral. Consider yourself quarantined. No one will come near you. They’d rather have measles.

Are you really surprised people in the publishing business (business, not hobby, not charity) want a manuscript that’s marketable? As one writing instructor put it, agents live on commission and need to earn enough to pay rent in New York. Editors and publishers have to pay rent, too. And maybe at least one or two of them has a point. Maybe your novel really isn’t a good fit for them. Try someone else. Maybe your novel isn’t as perfect as you think. Even manuscripts that are sold need editing. Maybe no one appreciates your story because it’s harder to decipher than a teenager’s emoji-laden Instagram caption. Maybe you should listen when they say your 300,000 word thriller stopped being thrilling at 120K. Maybe you can look past your hurt and find the nugget of good advice buried in the “no”.

If you can’t resist firebombing bridges and insist on refusing all advice? Self-publish.

Comments

[Mark]

An author didn't like one of my reviews. They blocked me on all forms of social media and (I've heard) belittled me once I was blocked. It didn't take much for me to figure it out when I got two messages of support from authors in the same day. (Hey, I read mysteries, I can put clues together.)

The thing is, I would have been willing to give the author another chance since the book I didn't enjoy was later in a series I had enjoyed up until that point. But because of this, I dropped them.

So yes, even ranting against reviewers after your book is published can cost you.

In this day and age, this kind of thing is important for people to remember no matter what field they are in. What you put on social media really can be detrimental to your future.

[Alexia]

I think people forget that the "social" in social media means word is likely to spread along social networks

[Mark]

Exactly.

And, being behind a computer screen really does change how people behave. They are more likely to say or do things they wouldn't do to the person's face.

[catriona]

Absolutely! And not juat on social media. It happens in real life too. Go to a couple of conventions and you're - unfortunately - bound to meet someone you don't know who immediately tells you (reminder: they don't know you) what they think (hint: not much) of someone you *do* know and possibly love. Why would anyone do that???

[Alexia]

Catriona, probably because they've never heard of the phrase, "Six degrees of separation." Those of us from the southern US know better than to talk bad about anybody because someone is always somebody's cousin's mother's college roommate's best friend's sister. (Way up here in Chicagoland, I've already met a man whose brother worked at the same place my parents worked and a man whose father worked at the same place my parents worked, in Virginia, at the same time they worked there. Never, ever talk bad about anybody to strangers.)

[Hank PhilLippi ryan]

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything. It’s such a simple rule to follow! I have never ever heard of an unkind word that did not backfire—and it is such bad karma, anyway. Bitterness is so toxic and seems even to encourage more bitterness, doesn’t it?