Read me a story, please!

by Donna Andrews of the Femmes Fatales.

How do I break the news to an author that his books put me to sleep? And that it's a good thing?

I suffer intermittently from insomnia. Not as often now that I don't have the day job to get up for—somehow it's harder to fall asleep when you know you have get up in eight hours. . . seven hours . . . six . . . five . . .yikes!--maybe I should stop looking at the clock. (As if that were possible.)

Until recently the best insomnia treatment I've found is music. Not just any old music—a particular playlist I've put together. All the pieces are soothing and calming; all either instrumental or with words that aren't in English. It didn't work all that well when I first tried it, but it was stuff I liked listening to, and over time I associated it with sleeping and it started working pretty well.

But lately I've discovered audiobooks. I'm in the middle of a read/reread of all of Peter Robinson's Inspector Bank series, and of the Harry Potter books. But during certain phases of the composition process, reading—or listening to—another novel, particularly another mystery, interferes with the creative process.

Enter nonfiction. Even narrative nonfiction doesn't occupy the same space in my brain as fiction, so I can read—or listen—to my heart's content. While I'm driving . . . doing housework . . . fixing dinner.

Just not in bed. Can't tell you how many times I've thought, “I'll just listen to a little more before I go off to sleep”--only to wake up in the middle of the night or even in the morning with the bedside light on and my audiobook talking away at me. Worse with fiction than nonfiction—at least with nonfiction, I sort of know how it will come out.

The other day I dreamed that I was at the assisted living where Mom used to be, explaining to management that no, I wasn't moving into take Mom's slot—just dropping by to make sure I'd packed all her stuff. You know how dreams are—this didn't look like the assisted living, and none of the staff or residents were people I recognized, but I knew it was the place. But living there wouldn't have worked out, because the woman in the next room would have been unbearable. I liked her at first—a genial, cultured, intelligent woman, and the book she was reading was interesting—but she kept reading it aloud. All. The. Time. Was she going to keep it up all day? All night?

Then I woke up and realized I'd fallen asleep on the audiobook again.

Fortunately both Audible and Overdrive, my library's audiobook platform, come with a timer, so you can set it to turn off after five minutes or an hour or any length between. Must start using that more diligently. Because no matter how interesting my book is, if I become horizontal while it's running, I'm out like a light. It's Pavlovian. I think it's a throwback to when my parents used to read to me at bedtime. And if you're prone to insomnia, it's a good thing.

But I can't just fall asleep to any old book. If it's boring, my mind starts wandering, and I start thinking about what happened during the day and what I'm going to do the following day, and I'm wide awake. I can only fall asleep to books that thoroughly engage my brain so I don't notice I'm . . . zzzzz.

The latest book I've been falling asleep to is Thomas Asbridge's The Crusades: The Authoritative History of the War for the Holy Land. I'm fond of reading history, and this is about an era that I've been wanting to learn more about, and it's fascinating—densely, rather than suspensefully so. Well narrated by Derek Perkins, who's won a bunch of audio awards. And it's 800 pages in the paper version and 25 hours in the audio version, so it's been keeping me busy for quite a while. I'm in my second listen-through, and might go for a third—partly because there's that whole falling asleep thing; I'm not at all sure I didn't miss some good parts. And because it is so densely interesting, it holds up well to a relistening.

And I don't know how I'd have gotten through Mother's Day without it. I woke up the day before Mother's Day feeling kind of punk—sore throat, congestion; my allergies giving way to an actual cold. Spent some time basking in the sun at a couple of nephew baseball games, which was all I had the energy for. Then on Mother's Day I woke up with horrible chest congestion and didn't feel like getting out of bed. Which was fine; in bed was where I needed to be. I'm a big believer in sleeping through as much of cold as possible—there's the whole not being conscious to experience the misery, plus the fact that plenty of sleep will help me shake it sooner. But I was resigned to a boring day, and worse, a day in which my restless brain would keep me from getting the rest I needed to get better.

So I turned on The Crusades. Kept it playing most of the day. I have no idea how much of the day I slept and how much I merely lay there quietly listening. It was curiously comforting that whenever I woke up, Perkins and Asbridge were there, filling my fevered brain with erudite and interesting stuff. Also curiously comforting that if I fell asleep, I wasn't going to miss anything. I'd catch it next time around.

So I've put another audiobook by Asbridge on my wish list. The Greatest Knight: The Remarkable Life of William Marshal, the Power Behind Five English Thrones. Narrated by Derek Perkins, I note with approval. Hoping not to have another nasty cold any time soon. But if I do, I'll be ready for it.

 

Comments

[Maryanne]

For me it’s podcasts but not just any one. Like you I need to like the subject and better yet if the presenter is English. My favourite right now is (No Such Thing As A Fish ) and I listen to them over and over they are both funny and English. I don’t take audio books to bed I hate to miss any part of a book. Most podcasts are around 45 min to an hour so I set my sleep timer to an hour.

[Mark]

I fall asleep reading, which is rare for a reader. Every day on my lunch hour, I go out to my car to read, and doze off for a little while only to wake up again and keep reading. It doesn't matter who I am reading. And at night, if I can't sleep, I turn the light back on and read. If I'm on my side, I will usually doze off pretty quickly.

It's every author I read, so no one should take it personally. But it is a great way to turn off the part of the brain that is keeping me up.

[Hank Phillippi Ryan]

Podcasts! What a great idea. Now if I could only figure out how to find a podcast...