5 Things I Learned Pitching a Hollywood Agent

By Joanna Campbell Slan for Femmes Fatales

After years of working together, my writing partner, Brad Markowitz, and I thought we had a project strong enough to pitch Leslie Conliffe of IPG (Intellectual Property Group) in Los Angeles. Brad’s an old pro at Hollywood, having written for sit coms and worked as a showrunner. I’ve learned a lot from him. Leslie is his agent, so he called and made an appointment with her.

As you can imagine, I was nervous as a squirrel about our meeting. I’d spoken to Leslie once before on the phone, and we’d really clicked. She had liked my Jane Eyre Chronicles. But that didn't guarantee that this new idea would be met with approval. While this was business as usual for Brad, it was a huge leap outside of my comfort zone.

Actually, the whole Los Angeles thing was outside of my comfort zone. I realized it right away when we drove down Sepulveda Blvd. and I casually asked, "Who names a street after a crypt? Sepulchre Boulevard?"

Of course, Brad thought I was nuts. "No. That's Sepulveda," he said, giving every syllable its proper due. I tried to explain that when you bump people off for a living (on paper at least), such associations naturally spring to mind.

Hollywood is a slick, glamorous town. You can’t drive anywhere without seeing beautiful people. The current “uniform” in Hollywood is tight yoga pants and a sports bra. Nothing else. You see women wearing that EVERYWHERE. When I pointed this out to Brad, he nodded and said, "God bless them every one."

Fashionista alert: Stretchy pants and a midriff bra do NOT make for an outfit I would feel comfortable in. I took two outfits with me, both very simple dresses. One pink and one blue. In the end, I chose blue because it's the color of sincerity. I wanted to look professional but not stuffy. I also wore comfortable shoes, and that turned out to be a very good choice, because parking in LA is a real problem.

I brought along a big portfolio-sized leather purse so I would have everything I needed, neatly tucked away. The one hiccup I didn’t plan for was that Brad borrowed my favorite fine point ink pen and then somehow gave it to a waiter! This shouldn’t have been a crisis. (Are you laughing yet?) But I’m excessively fond of those Pentel RSVP Fine Point pens. When I discovered we didn’t have it, I felt…naked. Betrayed. Unprepared, even. But I persevered.

The morning of our meeting, I walked from my hotel (the Crescent, and I loved it!) to Whole Foods to buy a gift bag (an adorable jack-o-lantern with candy corn teeth from Papyrus) and wrapping paper (white with spider webs), because I’d brought Leslie a small gift, a Jane Eyre/Lowood Academy LaCrosse Team tee shirt. The world needs more Vitamin C, as in Cute.

Thus armed, Brad and I arrived at the IPG office and were ushered into the conference room. A few minutes later, we were joined by Leslie and her assistant, Emma. (And yes, Leslie loved the gift. I wished I'd brought a big bag of candy corn, too!)

Here are five things I now know about pitching a Hollywood agent.

1. Your pitch needs to be commercial. Brad and I worked for two years, coming up with an idea that was uniquely ours, topical, and saleable to a verifiable audience. As Leslie wrote in an article for LinkedIn, even if she likes an idea, she might not be able to represent it because “every time I decide to work with a new client time is taken away from an existing client and project, and I must believe that I can continue to give the same amount of quality attention and personal dedication to all my clients, new and old.”
2. Your pitch needs to be well-honed and dramatic. Brad and I had put long hours into deciding exactly how to package, explain, and deliver our idea. In the end, we decided that he would introduce me, and I would paint a scene for Leslie, a snippet that would entertain and entice her.
3. You need to practice, practice, practice. I learned from being a motivational speaker that when you are nervous, words fly out of your head. I went over and over what I wanted to say, speaking the words, and imagining how it would be. I actually stood up and walked through it in my hotel room several times. I must have done well, because Brad said I commanded the room.
4. You should bring supporting materials. I printed out a set of figures from Forbes Magazine that showed exactly how commercial our idea was. In other words, I defined the size and buying power of the market we hoped to attract. Having the sheet in front of me made talking about it a snap, and I was able to leave those numbers behind with Leslie.
5. Your pitch is only the first step. As with most agencies, a lot of people have to vet the proposals before the agency will consider new projects. Even if IPG does greenlight our idea, they will still have to figure out how they will “get in a room” or “get us in a room.” ("Getting in a room" is industry lingo for getting the opportunity to pitch someone who can turn our idea into a television feature or series. And yes, if we get in a room, we’ll go through this all over again.)

Were we a success? Brad had warned me that it might be a very short meeting. I knew going in that Leslie had a jam-packed day. I also knew I would have to prove that I could deliver, but I wouldn’t get to do that unless our idea immediately grabbed Leslie’s attention. At every step, I reminded myself that at least I’d be able to go to my grave saying, “I pitched a Hollywood agent! Wow! Is that cool or what?”

Again, you ask, “Was it a success?” We spent nearly three hours with Leslie. Two and a half were talking about our idea. So yes, I think it went as well as it possibly could. As for what happens next, we’ll have to wait and see.

Comments

[Barb Goffman]

Very cool, Joanna. I look forward to hearing what happens next. I also never knew (perhaps I should have, but I didn't) that you have a writing partner. I'd love to learn more about that.

[Elaine Viets]

Congratulations, Joanna. Sounds like you're off to a good start. Hope you get in a room soon and take a meeting.

[Joanna Campbell Slan]

Hi, Barb--Brad went to the same Jewish youth group as my husband. I met him through David, and we've been noodling around ideas for projects. Once we started, we discovered that we worked very well together. What else might I tell you?

[Joanna Campbell Slan]

Hey, Elaine,
All you can do is the best you can do with those things you control. We've already heard back from Leslie that she was pleased with the meeting. I know she's following up--but this isn't her decision alone. Fingers crossed!

[Barb Goffman]

Joanna, I assume the process of working in a team, especially with a non-family member, might be difficult--definitely different from writing alone. It might make an interesting column to address how you collaborate.

[Joanna Campbell Slan]

Thanks for the suggestion, Barb. Actually, working with Brad has been much easier than working with family members. Hmmm. I guess a column could explain that! And I have worked with family members, so I can advance my preference with the security of experience.