Bad Advice

by Leigh Perry / Toni L.P. Kelner

I'm going to be attending the science fiction convention Arisia in Boston this weekend, weather permitting, and I'm scheduled to moderate a panel about bad writing advice, so naturally I've been thinking about a lot of the advice I've heard over the years. Though mostly well-meaning, some of these bits-o-wisdom either don't apply to me, or are just flat-out wrong.

• Write every day. This is a classic one, and not necessarily wrong, but it never has fit my life. When I was a new mystery writer, I still had a full-time job, and deadlines at work pretty much put the kibosh on writing at home. Later on, I was a stay-at-home mother, which means that my plans could easily and instantly be derailed by anything from ear infections to band rehearsal schedules to prom shopping. Now that I'm an empty nester, I still have appoints to keep, promotional visits, and sometimes even my own ear infections. I still think it's a good idea to write most days to keep myself on track, but every day is an impossible goal.
• Learn Latin. Seriously, I read this in a writing book that is still being sold. The author insists that to write effectively in English, an author has to learn Latin first. Her justifications made exactly zero sense to me. Since that was in one of the early chapters of the book,  I have no idea if the book got better because that's when I stopped reading. My takeaway was that if a writing book's wisdom sounded dumb, dump that writing book into the Goodwill box.
• Write short stories first to attract an agent and build a market so you can then sell a novel. No, not really. For one, short stories aren't as popular as they once were and there aren't nearly as many markets. For another, writing a novel and writing a short story are very different tasks. To be fair, the advice wasn't bad when it was first offered, in how-to-write science fiction back in the sixties, but it's not very helpful now. 
• You should write zombie romance/young adult dystopia/vampire spy novel/whatever-is-hot instead. I hear those sell a lot. Yes, I hear that, too, but writing to trend is a sucker's game. By the time I do the research required to write a competent zombie romance, and then write the thing, the trend will probably be long dead. (Like a zombie!) And since I already have a track record in this field, jumping off to another field is not going to make my publisher or agent particularly happy.
• You should go on one of the talk shows. Those authors sell lots of books. This one is usually from people not in the business. Without going into tons of explanation, suffice it to say that while I would love to visit The Today Show to promote my books, The Today Show has no particular interest in me.
• You should sell your book to Hollywood. Pretty much the same answer as the talk show advice. I would if I could, but while my agent and I can pitch to Hollywood types all day long, that doesn't mean they'd be interested.
• Outline before you start writing. This one works great for some writers, but not for me. I put it with the advice to work up character sheets describing every character in a book and creating a playlist of songs to inspire you to work. These are dynamite techniques for people other than me.
• Social media is the way to go! Blog! Podcast! Twitter! Okay, I've dabbled in all of these--I'm blogging this very moment, I've guested on podcasts, and I do post on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. So obviously I don't really think it's bad advice. However, there are things to keep in mind. One, social media work is time you're not writing. Two, it's hard to tell how much effect it has on sales. And three, you shouldn't do any of this if it's not fun. Since the idea of creating my own podcast fills me with dread, I'm not going to do it, and if I get tired of blogging, I'll stop doing it.
• Only sell to traditional NYC presses/only publish with small presses/only indie publish. This is a case of well-meaning people telling you to do what they honestly believe in, with no motive other than to help me. They just don't realize that no one solution works for every writer.

When I go to my panel at Arisia, I'll have all these bits and bobs of wisdom to share with my audience, and I'm sure the other writers on the panel will have great bad advice, too. But I suspect it will all come down to this: Do what works for you. If a piece of advice sounds useful and helps you write, go for it. If it doesn't, ignore it.

Comments

[Art Taylor]

So true, Toni. I've heard so much of this advice from various corners (including writing teachers). It's not that all of it's bad, of course, it's just that one size doesn't fit all. Thanks for the fun post!

[LynDee]

Absolutely! I always smile and nod because people mean well, but every writer and every process and career path are unique.

[Kathy Lynn Emerson]

Well said. One size doesn’t fit all.

[Aimee Hix]

Toni, the only iron-clad, unassailable writing advice in my opinion is that of the late Robin Hathaway.

To quote: "Seventeen people is too many to kill in the first chapter."

:)

[Tara Laskowski (@beanglish)]

My favorite (also from people not in the business): You should get your book into Costco. And thank you for the 'write everyday' bit. If that was what was needed, I'd have given up writing long long long ago. Better advice? Figure out how to be a productive writer in 15-minute bursts, while an episode of Curious George is blaring in the background. :-)

[Alexia Gordon]

17 is too many, Aimee? Darn! *heads to office to edit manuscript*

[Liz Milliron]

Learn Latin? I'm sunk.

Great "bad" advice. People tried to tell me for years I had to outline to write a good book. Turns out that just isn't my process and that's okay.

[Mark]

I’ve heard the learn Latin bit as well. I can understand the thought behind it, and at one time it might have been good advice when books where written to people with better vocabularies. But today, when the average vocabulary is small and so many words have a basis in something other than Latin, this isn’t true any more at all.

[Toni LP Kelner]

You know, I could kill 17 in Chapter 1. Would have to be a bunch at once, like arson or a bomb or a crash or...

Hmmmm....

It probably wouldn't be a cozy....

[Joanna Campbell Slan]

Hmmm. this is kind of hysterical, Toni. That's from the Latin hystericus which means suffering in the uterus. Just sayin'...