Time to make a change

by LynDee Walker of the Femmes Fatales.

My gift to myself this new year is that I’m going to learn when I need to make adjustments to a situation to be happy and healthy and not constantly feeling like I’m failing at this thing or that. Not a resolution, really, but more of a long-term self care goal. Last week, I took a big step toward it: I bought a spin bike to round out the home gym in the other half of my office. 

When the littles were really little, I practically lived at the gym. My 45 minutes on the elliptical or with my trainer were my “me” time, when no one was asking me for anything or pulling on me or screaming, and I guarded them carefully. I loved feeling strong and being able to keep up with my children, and I never imagined my circumstances would change.

Fast-forward 10 years, and I have a two-books-a-year writing schedule that keeps me still (even with the standing desk) for most of the day, and kids with sports schedules that make it impossible for me to get to the spin classes at the gym I love so much. 

I’ve dug in my heels and tried to shift things around to make something work for almost a year now, and all that’s happened is that I gained (another) 10 pounds because I haven’t been getting enough exercise. My stubborn method of beating myself up for failing while refusing to set myself up to succeed really wasn’t working (shocked, aren’t you?). 

I realized that part of my problem was the class schedule at the gym, but the other part of it was that instead of an escape I looked forward to, going had become yet another chore. Change my clothes, hunt up a hair tie, find my headphones, hope they’re charged, drive 10 minutes there, work out for an hour, drive home, shower: I didn’t want to because it all felt like too much effort in a schedule that’s already full, and would take up two hours of my already too-short day.

But if I had a place to workout here, it would cut down on the time and effort. So I ordered a good bike and hoped I was right, lest guilt about spending money on something I didn’t use pile on top of the not-being-active-enough guilt. 

I’m happy to report that so far, so good. I get up and put on my gym clothes and sneakers, get the littles to school, turn my workout program on the speaker that lives on my desk (so no headset to fool with), jump on the bike and get my heart rate up for a while, then follow it with core work and yoga and a nice hot shower. I feel better, I’m sleeping better, and I even snuck in a workout over the weekend—when I know I would never have gone to the gym at 5:30 on a Saturday evening with looming plans for date night with my son. I’m back to looking forward to my workouts, and I’m not sacrificing attention to anything else to fit them in because having the flexibility of doing them at home makes it take half the time. 

How about you, Femmes? Have you ever made a long overdue change only to wonder why it took you so long to come around?

Comments

[Donnaandrews]

I'm still trying to figure out what my 2019 goals should be. Maybe I should work on combating procrastination?

[Elaine Viets]

My condo has a small gym and I work out there. My rule is: No TV watching until I've worked out. While I work out, I watch MSNBC. That way, if the day's politics are upsetting, I can work off my anger in the gym.