Becoming a real New Mexican

by Kris Neri, with the Femmes Fatales

Now that I’ve lived in New Mexico for just over a year, I know what it takes to be a real New Mexican. I happily share the following, so you know what I’ve learned:

Red or green? When a restaurant server asks, “Red or green?” I no longer have to answer with a perplexed “What?” The question refers to whether the diner wants her burrito or stuffed sopaipilla smothered in either red or green sauce. A real New Mexican doesn’t even have to wait for the question. She just volunteers that answer before being asked. BTW, if you want a little of both, you say, “Christmas.” 

Cheeseburgers: As a real New Mexican I know I will never again have to eat a cheeseburger without a green chile on it. If you haven’t tried it, you don’t know what you’re missing. BTW, the same goes for grilled cheese sandwiches.

And speaking of chiles…

Chili/Chile: You can always tell a real New Mexican from a poser (assuming anyone is trying to pose as a New Mexican) by checking to see if they understand the difference between the chili/chile divide. If it ends in an “i,” it refers to a dish with chili seasoning. If it ends in an “e,” that refers to a pepper. And, yes, I know you’ll see the exact opposite in loads of places, but this is the real truth. The state of New Mexico’s chile license plate declares itself to be “the chile capital of the world,” so it should know. 

Armageddon: I no longer have to fear the end of the world, whether it comes from a domestic or foreign assault — because nobody knows New Mexico is part of the US, and that surely must mean it will exclude us. It is the only state that puts “USA” on its license plates, and still people will argue that it’s part of Mexico.

What happened to our educational system?

Well, to be fair, lots of travelers are familiar with Santa Fe, and believe it to be an American city. But they also seem to think it floats in the ether somewhere, stateless. As for the rest of New Mexico? Forget about it.

Roswell: As a real New Mexican, I know that aliens really did land in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. We have to be able to recite the state’s Zia Flag pledge to be given the truth, but I’ll share it with you. 

By the way, did you know that seventeen states have state pledges for their state flags? Having never lived in one until now, I didn’t. 

Congressional representative: Every American should be familiar with his representative to the House of Representatives, and know how to pronounce that person’s name. Do you know yours? I hope so. Mine is Xochitl Torres Small. Pronounced So-cheel. (I assume you can pronounce the rest.)

Billy the Kid: The young psycho who would become known as Billy the Kid, among other names, was born in New York City in 1859. Following the death of his father, his mother remarried, and came to live in various parts of New Mexico, including Silver City, where I live. The grave of Catherine McCarty Antrim, Billy’s mother, is part of the interesting parts of Silver City tour, but I’ll share a photo here so you don’t have to take that tour. 

Billy cut a wide swath through both the Arizona and New Mexico territories, especially hiding out a lot in Lincoln County, NM. To this day, you’ll find loads of information about the young gunslinger, who was killed at the age of twenty-one, after knocking off at least eight other men, in visitors centers and museums throughout the state. 

In Ruidoso Downs, New Mexico, they even have an annual “Chile the Kid: Green Chile, Beer & Wine festival,” [https://www.raceruidoso.com/event/chile-the-kid-beer-wine-festival/] which is kind of a take-off on Billy. As a real New Mexican, I know lots more about Billy now than I ever expected.

Well, I could go on, but I think I’ve established my real New Mexican chops. 

There’s a Facebook page whose title I find funny, even if I don’t like some of its content: New Mexico is Not Part of Mexico You Dumb Ass. Besides, there should be a comma in there. I might be a real New Mexican now, but I’m still part of the Grammar Police. 

So? What things do you know about your state that outsiders absolutely would not? 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On sale for only $.99:

Kindle edition: High Crimes on the Magical Plane: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MSBSM1T

Kindle edition: Magical Alienation: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MLY64LH

Sale ends July 30. 

Comments

[Mark]

I knew about the red and green sauce. I just can’t remember which is hotter. Don’t think I knew about Christmas meaning both, but I like that.

[krisneri]

Mark, the red sauce is typically hotter, though I've had some fairly hot green, and red that's not as hot as I've hoped. I like calling both Christmas, too.

[Deb Romano]

A long time ago I read that a medical doctor relocated to New Mexico. He did a Change of Address for a professional publication he subscribed to. The publication sent him a letter stating that his subscription cost was going up, since he was no longer in the US!

[Barbara Gabioud]

And for just a bit of clarification -- Xochitl Torres Small is a female!

[krisneri]

Funny, Deb. Only not really funny when you realize that whoever sent out that message should have known!

[krisneri]

Thanks, Barbara. That's an important addition!